Life of Buck

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Note: Read the post before this one too!!! Silly chickens...

Today is Tuesday, but instead of making another post that might prevent anyone from reading this post (before this one) I just added this on. It's around 12 noon.

Last night I couldn't find my dear toothbrush. *sniff* And it just dissapeared. I looked high and low but alas, it was nowhere to be found. I thought that the tooth faerie probably came to our house and stole it so my teeth would get cavities and all fall out so she could steal them and use them to make her tooth castle! *gasp* But I don't like brushing my teeth anyways cause it takes me forever, so evil, but of course I do it anyways, for hygene sake and fresh breath. :) But I didn't find it so I went to bed. (I dreamed about church people, yay!)

This morning my mother woke me up at 7:30!!!!!!!!! am!!!!!!!! For School!!!!!! That's just, just, rediculous! What happened to the days when I woke up at 10 for homeschool and did an hour of work and then the rest of the day was mine to be on the net?? And even when I did an hour it was more like a half hour cause I slacked off. But now. She made me read my Bible for 15 minutes then clean my room, which is inhuman, cause I'm fine with my room being messy cause I can find everything, except my tothbrush, and it's my personal space anyways. But when I pointed this out she's like, "Ok, I'm fine with that, but I'm not fine with this trash on the floor." What trash? This is an uproar. My floor consists of clothes and pens and my backpack, and other odds and ends. How can you consider a back pack trash? But, pish, I did 15 minutes of cleaning anyways. I didn't get a whole lot of cleanliness done, I take my time in cleaning my room. I'm a slower worker. Even Ben Leone pointed out that I was digging "liesurely" at urban homeworks when we were shoveling dirt. So anyways, then I did my hebrew and was done for my first hour of work.

I went in to my mother's room and asked her what was for breakfast and she asked me what I would like. I sat there and pondered for a moment tand then declared, "Wafles!" The thought of the syrup or honey spread out on a hot wafle is enough to make anyone drool. So she replied, "Ok then go make them." Not the answer I was looking for. In my perfect world she would have said, "Of course! How about with blueberries? And maybe a side of bacon with that too?" But alas, she walked out and went downstairs to help my brother (If you can even call him that) with his schoolwork.

At this point I was very tired, because I had been up til 1:30 the previous night doing nothing in particular, fromping around my room, and then she woke me up at 7:30 today. So I slipped her covers over me and I half slept but was still half awake. And then I started to dream a little bit. And I dreamt we were at urban homeworks again but we were fixing up nice house in the suburb so it was more like suburn homeworks. And I remember having fun with all the why people and hanging out at Jordan's. And seeing a person that I enjoy seeing. And then there was this odd part where I was truding up these stairs and a spider went in to my hair that was nesting on the rail. And then I awoke. And it was 9:30. And then I ate a piece of chocolate cake and drank some orange juice for breakfast. Then I proceeded to find my toothbrush. It was in my father's drawer! How it got there I don't know, but let's say it involved something to do with...pickles! Yes, pickles had something to do with this...So I brushed my teeth. And now I am being forced to take random subjects from books my mother found on our bookshelf. These subjects include, learning bible verses, corrie ten boom, *glare*, english, and "the birds around us" pish those birds! Evil! *kicks a random sparrow flying by* And then my mother will wisk me away and take me for a walk. Something about fresh air and excersize.

I am being gyped. Cause I don't even have schoolmates to keep me company. And actually I'm a peopel person. The only schoolmates I have is my switchfoot poster above my bed and my computer monitor. (my brother is fixing my computer, it'll prolly be like 2 months before I get it back though cause he's so busy always)

so *sigh* this blows...like the chicken!

Note:I really don't believe in the tooth faerie and I didn't kick a poor innocent sparrow, although it would have been fun to it sqeak with pain*

::quoth anna:: at 12:17 PM

Monday, August 30, 2004

I'm such a chicken!!!

*pauses to emphasize that*

I was one house away from Ben's, on my bike, cause I wanted to give him his purdy book back that I've had for a month. And I stopped, and I was freaked out. And I just sat there for like 5 minutes until a person came out of the house I was parked in front of and stared at me. I freaked out and biked away. Yes, so that's me living in a world of regret and sorrow. I HATE BEING SHY!!! Why do I have nothing to say to the people I want to say something to the most? Why must I warm up to people? (And it takes forever!) Why can't I just be outgoing and happy? WHY WHY WHY!?

Ok so yes, that's my discouragement for the day. For some reason it brought me down, the fact that I didn't see Ben. Ben's the knida person that doesn't really focus on himself. And he does it so naturally. He's never like depressed. He's just like that young boy, but yet very mature. *sigh* Alas, I have not seen him in a while.

*yawns* Oh! Ok so currently I know Amanda and Steph read this. But some random person posted a comment anymousely! (I put the e in there purposely) Blast it, I have to figure out who it tis. It could just be Amanda herself, but I don't know...

so, new stalker...sorry if i offend you stalker by calling you stalker. like what else should i name you as? i could call you spork...from now on yur name is spork until you present your name to me, you....you...spork!

britnee invited me to her thing on saturday. blast i have to do lighting at church! (have you done anything in lighting recently?) haha...but hopefully if i can get a ride i'll still come. so yea, hopefully i'm going.

yay! something to look forward to!

words i say most often: hmm, um, yay, meow

::quoth anna:: at 10:17 PM

Hi Manda and my 1 anymous stalker, and anyone else who reads this! (PLease post a comment so i know that you looked at this! i have a counter so yea,..just it'd be nice for me!)

Well the state fair was today, or should I say yesterday...since it is...12:49am. Hmm bored, speaking with Todd and watcing this OLD movie of me as a little flower girl. I have curls in my hair and a big puff. Hehe I'm cute. Or, I was cute.

Anyways back to the state fair. It was um, ok. Pretty uneventful, and I realised how much I hate the state fair. If you're puzzled as to why I went, it was of course because my friends were going. No, no, it's not like I was following the crowd, I knew how much I didn't like the state fair. It just gave me an extra opportunity to hang out with them more. Hm, I don't know if I'm satisfied with it though. We had a rather large group, and i wouldn't have minded so much if there were some certain people at the fair! But alas there wasn't. But it's over now..

hmm i think todd died, better go revive him, oh, he's still alive, tearing up about his cat..

hm nice knowing ya

hmm this is edited, and i can not for the life of me remember why i put this post title as, no, you get off the wall! i think i have short term memory..

anyways, a pretty picture i edited from neopets and made depressing, like me.

::quoth anna:: at 12:23 AM

Friday, August 27, 2004

i think it's time.

yes it's time

time to what??

to kill myself

i have reviewed

and now i am sure

people would be better off without me

i am nothing

i am irrelevant

i am....non exsistent...

i wish

::quoth anna:: at 11:19 PM

GRrrrr! *huff* my mother has said i must do all the dishes! there's like a hundred to do! and my brother has to do none cause my mother says it's his birthday week, even though his birthday isn't today! it's tomorrow. pish.

well the first 7 hours of my day sucked. basically until like 4 or 5 when i was home alone and could skip and run aorund my house blasting evanescence and being depressed. now after making lasagna and being on the computer so long people can't get through and are probably leaving messages that are like, "Get off the internet anna or i'll come over there and make you get off!" or "if i get a busy signel one more time i'm never calling again!!!" (and that's probably from the person i want to talk to the most! i'll never tell who) and such evil things like that.

so i think you can see why i try to stay either out of people's way, or so much in their way they can't contact me until i'm brave enough to face it like a man. but i'm not really a guy, i just should face everyone who's trying to get through and not cringe next time they see me in person and yell at me for being on the internet for so long. i've been on since 3:30 and now it's 8:30. and what have i been doing? oh, just hanging around aim waiting for people to get on! and yes of course isaiah went for a bike ride and ended up playing soccer with josh and probably ben.

omygosh i finished martin the warrior!!!! I can finally go to ben's house and have a reason! when someone answers the doors i can be like is amanda (don't say ben first or they might think i want him specifically even though that's exactly what i want) or ben there? i have ben's book. so yay! maybe i can venture over there tomorrow somewhere inbetween celebrsting isaiah's birthday. pish hopefully i have enough courage to knock on their door! even thinknig about it gives me chills!!

blllllllllllllllllleh! must do stupid hour and a half long chores now...pish it all

haha i got a counter! now i can see how many people come here and who..

::quoth anna:: at 8:12 PM

Thursday, August 26, 2004

two words:

life sucks

i wish that summed up how i feel but alas, it doesn't.

::quoth anna:: at 10:11 PM

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

mood: dissapointed

blah so i won't even say what happened yesterday evening and today. i'm still pondering and being baffled by it.

i went to hs service tonight and it was rather repeaty of sunday service, haha, that's because it was. for the most part it was kinda boring and unventful and i didn't talk to anyone much.

going to the state fair sunday with why, yay!!! makes me happy. something to look forward to! *gasp* plus i'll hang out with friends at the state fair, how coolness!! although i'm still dissapointed about tonight..

brother is being annoying and making me get off

arg!!!

::quoth anna:: at 10:56 PM

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

This is a very good show on BBC. my brother rented a dvd with a bunch of the shows combined. It is so incredibly funny you must see it.

Now I'm going to go to the co-op with my mother and get healthy food. I think I'll get stuff to make manicotti. And maybe if we go to that one co-op coffee cookies for peeps at church who like coffee, like manda and sarah and such.

Seether-Broken

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh/
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away/
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well/
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain/

Cause Im broken when I’m open/
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough/
Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome/
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away/

The worst is over now and we can breathe again/
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away/
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight/
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain/

Cause Im broken when I’m open/
And I dont feel like I am strong enough/
Cause Im broken when I’m lonesome/
And I dont feel right when you’re gone away/

Cause Im broken when I’m open/
And I dont feel like I am strong enough/
Cause Im broken when I’m lonesome/
And I dont feel right when you’re gone away/

::quoth anna:: at 11:03 AM

Monday, August 23, 2004

Last Words -Thousand Foot Krutch

Dear loved one, please listen, this might be the last chance I get, I'm sorry I left you, I'm
living in a world of regret, don't cry if you can hear me, I never meant to hurt you dearly,
I'm so wrong sincerely, don't stop take life seriously.

These are the last words I'm ever gonna get to say to you, when everything falls away from you
take these words and know the world is not worth leaving .

There's so much I've done wrong, since I've left it hit me so strong, take my hand and let's
walk through all the times I've lied and hurt you, those people, please love them, don't hate
them, we're not above them, you can have everything but have nothing. Listen I've got to tell
you something..

These are the last words I'm ever gonna get to say to you, when everything falls away from you
take these words and know the world is not worth leaving. Last words I'll really get to say to
you, so listen very carefully to what I'm saying, life is more than just the games you're
playing.

if there was ever one thing I could ever get across to you, I'd tell you not to say these
things you do, and tell my mother that I love her too, no matter what life pulls ya through
(No). You've got what it takes to make it through, and if I was you I'd get down on my knees
and pray. Thank God in the morning for another day. Cause there are the...

Last words I'm ever gonna get to say to you, when everything falls away from you take these
words and know the world is not worth leaving. Last words I'll ever get to say to you, so
listen very carefully to what I'm saying, life is more than just the games you're playing. Life
is more than just the games you're playing.

::quoth anna:: at 6:34 PM

Sunday, August 22, 2004

hi ho manda, cherry o! maybe i should just write, dear manda, at the beginning of this since you're the only one who reads this.

unless i have an odd stalker type person hanging on my every word in this thing...hmm i think not.

so hey ho merry o manda!!

church was ok...i would of liked more people there. but w/e. and i think i should seriously give up even saying a word about a guy. it's so painful............ack evilness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

nothing to look forward to. it makes me sad and wanting to die. when there's nothing to look foward to in life it's rather pointless feeling. and i want to find bands i like!!! ahh so hard!

::quoth anna:: at 1:30 PM

Saturday, August 21, 2004

life sucks.

i think i should screw liking boys. i think....

i think i'll just wait for someone to like me before i even think of liking someone...

oh pish it all

i think i'm going to go on a kill bill volume 2 spree.

::quoth anna:: at 7:10 PM

Monday, August 16, 2004

My life is rated G

What is your life rated?

::quoth anna:: at 2:28 PM

Yay! I finally made my blog pretty! It was so incredibly ugly before. :P Pleh. I found this background online and was like, hmm this is nice...I'm not a fan of pink but I guess it'll have to do. I was thinking making this box's background black and having hot pink letters. Not sure though, this is fine for now.

Although Shanna doesn't know it yet I have officially decided to not have best friends. They knida suck. Especially if it's Shanna. I think K8E is right that Shanna doesn't know how to be a friend. I'll still talk to her and everything, I'm just not making it my responsibility to be sure t call her once a week or something, whatever best friends do.

Haha, I guess I'm started to like my WHY friends a lot. It's fantabulous to hang out with them. They can be serious but they can have fun. And they don't put me down for odd habits of mine!!! They think it's funny or something. And also the problem with Shanna is she totally has no faith, and it really bugs me, and brings me down.

Hm anyways new things to say...

Urban homeworks is tomorrow! Yay can't wait! But I shall be so depressed if Jordan seperated the 8th and 9th graders. Then I won't be able to hang out with like, all my friends there. I for some reason hang out with people older then me. And Amanda, Britnee, and Sarah and a few others I could name...are all going in to 9th grade. Well sarah, Amanda and Britnee aren't lol. They're older then 9th.

But I shall stop talking about people and myself...that sounds odd. ...

Today I woke up with a headache, I blame it on the gloomy rainy weather. I'm thanking God that the sun has come out now. I think it saved me from being sick to my stomach. I have decided also I look nice in braids. I've been a little sick of my hair down, and randomly last night I just deicded to put it in two braids on either side of my head. I kinda look like I'm from little house on the prairie, what with my brown hair and all, but that's ok. Must repaint my nails black, so it loks as if the polish never came off. Maybe I'll just repaint them black over and over again and my mother won't notice it really anymore. And of course we have no nail polish remover so it's not like I can take it off whne she asks...

Hm I'm rather bad these days. I think I've been lying too much..Mostly to my brother so he'll quit bugging me, which it seems is is meaning in life. And I've said shut up to him 3 times. *gasp* I never use to say that. I try to stop. You know what happens when you start to do something you don't want to start. You'll do it once, and then it gets easier the time I after that.

Ah! *runs and hides under blankets and pillows that fell from the clouds*

Ooo, fluff!

::quoth anna:: at 1:53 PM

Friday, August 13, 2004

Hm, odd...I won't tell you what I just read, it twas very odd...and disturbing

Well on Tuesday I got black and clear nail polish with Amanda and Sarah. Haha when my mother finally saw it today she got all sad about it and was like, "Anna that can open doors for the enemy to come in." I have heard this many times when I do anything slightly gothic. But I don't suppose my mother realizes what gothic is. She probably thinks goths are those people who worship satan in crazy cults. Well that's some goths. Not all of them though. I'd be a christian goth...if that is possible. But anyways it twas fun cause me, sarah, amanda, and britnee all went to perkins at like 10:30pm tuesday, and we stayed til like one. It was super fun talking and watching britnee suck in heliem from the perkins balloon, and yes of course eating. We had fries and mozzerella sticks, and I'm making myself hungry...

I seriously think I have an issue with eating. Although I'm still rather skinny for my age and never get stomachaches from it.

I can't wait for urban homeworks!!! yay, get to see friends all day long. I hope most of the people I want to be with are in the same group, otherwise i might have to weep.

yesterday was hs service, although i'm really not in highschool but no one seems to notice, not even dennis! botheration you'd think people would know me better. but i'm not complaining, it's just funny. and the whole billy stalking amanda is an odd situation. i lost my stalker though, that's good news. hope he doesn't come back to me after he reads her e-mail. i wonder what he is going to say about it...and i realy think that more people should have come to her rescue, i couldn't cause i use to be the stalkie of him. I bet he knows all my tricks by now...It's been like over a year, freaky huh?

hm it's late,,,not that late, but far into the night enough,,, hm that looks like jake richardsons lip ring kinda.... _,___ oo see?

::quoth anna:: at 1:00 AM

Thursday, August 05, 2004

I'm in luv!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *flutters around in a circle and lands with a thud only to lay back and smile*

but of course i shan't say with who...........hm......nope i shan't say

but of course me being a girl that doesn't have anything special about her i highly doubt they like me back, oh sigh...

*gets up and walks away*

::quoth anna:: at 10:07 PM