Life of Buck

Thursday, September 30, 2004

>Nickleback is a good band I say...

"It's not like you, to say sorry, I was waiting on a different story..."

Ahh must go to hebrew now.

SYATD was cancelled ahh!!! And caleb was going ahhh!!!

Pointless nothingness

::quoth anna:: at 5:55 PM

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Yes, I realize my lack of post. But if you had no internet your posting would stop abruptantly too.

Things in Life:

1. Seeing a preppy girl freak out is insanely funny.

2. Eating one meal a day really comes to no good.

3. Don't stay up til 1 writing something you rip up right after your done. Those two hours extra could be good for sleep

4. NEVER DELETE YOUR MODEM!!!

5. Never tell people your age and grade, for then they might not let you go to breakaway then cause you're not in highschool!

Tis all for now.
At the library and my father wants to go. And I'm about to pass out because of no food. And the people next to me are having a little PDA.

Hopefully I can go to Manda's on Frying Pan Day and sleepover w/ Britt and Sarah.

Gosh I want Leann Chin really really REALLY BAD.

Miss my luvs. No church today. SUCk.

Oh gosh, and see ya at the dome is cancelled and I found out CALEB and betsey were going. DUDE! Luis Palau rerun for sure. I loved that place. I miss him. When Manda Bestey and I were doing a three way the other day he said hi to me. I'm really happy I told him I liked him. I wonder if I shall ever tell (insert the name of the boy I like) I like him. (LOL I just put the name and was like, ...ooops!)

There's this kid and my writing calss named Jordan who is very nice company. I sit with him and Sally all the time. Very luvly people. Jordan I like..um alot. We both have cats and like them and he's in a cartooning class which I would die to be in. He showed me some of his work and also whispered to me that he would try to get me a piece of candy. (long story)

hmm

luvs,
katanna

::quoth anna:: at 1:59 PM

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

OH WOW!!!

I just got on aim on the library!!! All you got to do is go to aim.com and then downloads and aim express and then you click on it and enter your username and then bam! Your buddy list shows up and you don't even have to download anything! IT ROCKS! I have this important information for life now...

pish, no one is on though...

OH! We're getting a new computer soon. I'll refer to it as mine cause I love it mroe then anyone else. I have taken Leah's idea and named it Amore, and for a nick name calling it Amy. (Amore means love) Yay! It's silver and you can see through it..I need to give it a middle name though. Maybe Invisible, or clear or water or something...

That is all for today. Maye after school tomorrow mother shall take me to the library again in which I can have internet/aim access again...

::quoth anna:: at 2:44 PM

Monday, September 20, 2004

I'm dying without aim. I cannot talk to my lurvly friends and it sucks. It sucks so bad. I MUST GET THE WORM OUT OF MY COMPUTER!

Tips for life:

1. Never tell your friends the rules your mother tells you, they follow them to the extreme.

Example: Sunday at Alex's party I was sitting by Ben at the table when we were eating pies and it was rather crowded so he was touching me. (not on purpose) And Max felt the need to point this out. So he was laughing and was like, "Oooo Anna you're touching a boy! Look at that! Look it how much they're touching!" And also on Friday when I was very innocently sitting on Max's couch watching the movie and peter was sitting on the floor next to the couch. ???!!! And yes, Max also told Peter to watch out.

Now I feel like I'm infested with a computer virus or something...

2. Be nice to your internet service provider. Or they might get mad and keep you from your lovely internet and even lovelier aim

3. Don't drop your old friends for your wonderful, fantabulous, can't-get-enough-of, new ones. You might be hated.

4. Don't EVER get on the nerves of the people who are making your food.

Once again I'm being forced off the net. I'm at my brother's house who lives in woodbury and has high speed net. Yum. *sob* no aol...

If anyone can hear me, (or read this) COMMENT! If i can't get on aim I still must know that you guys are alive somewhere. Or e-mail me at my lost_little_meep@yahoo.com e-mail. Chances are I might be able to read it soon. But there might be no hope for aim....

I'm making myself depressed...

FAREWELL LURVLY NET!!!

(I need my friends now! I lvoe you all!!!!!!!!)

::quoth anna:: at 9:23 PM

"...and all these emotions are trapped in an ocean of bitterness and pain..."

"The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them."

*sigh* that is so much the truth it isn't even funny. I feel like that all the time around my friends (and such people i shan't even mention) when I'm with them. I know that in just what seems a matter of moments I shall be at home, alone, with no lovers to comfort me. And when I'm sitting there home alone. I'll start questoning why I'm even here and what the point is and all that junk. Then I'll feel worthless and nothing like and it'll all just hit me hard and I get depressed. Meh.

BLAST! BANANA PEPPERS! That's what I was forgetting on my sub today! I knew there was something...Yes, I went to subway for the second time in a row today and got what I usaully get. Steak and cheese. My mother had a sub club card so yess...Indigo was awfully nice to me and bought me one yesterday when manda, her, ben, max, and I walked to subway during church that twas quite fun!

Ooo church luvers. Must speak about them...

Yay, Friday was the party thing. Twas very fun! I went to Britnee's and then when I got there we looked at some pictures and she gave me some ;) Then Manda and Sarah came and we left! Haha! When we got "there" we (britnee, sarah, manda, max, and i) we hung out for a bit and talked and then played halo until alex and ben came. That kinda forced us to stop but whatever. So Ben and Amanda played (or tried to) darts for a while while some of us played THPS 2x. Then Nikki came and then Indigo. And so we all did whatever for a bit. Then for some odd reason Max said we could walk down to Lydia's house (former friend) and I don't know. Invite her or something. So as we were half leaving Peter came and joined our little stampede (I don't know what you would call it) As we were walking to Lydia's Ben invited me to Alex's surprise birthday party. Well actually he called my house a couple hours before but that was when I was leaving and my brother answered and took a message for me. So then we rang her doorbell but everyone twas gone, and that was sad cause we were going to start singing christmas carols to them which would have been majorly funny. We fled back to the house and hum. Basically we hung out and ate and did w/e. Oooo I watched hangman's curse for the third time, yay! Hum, i think Peter was very distressed by all the comments/talking during the movie. And some others I suppose too. Then people started fighting with huge plastic candycanes (haha) and blowing in to them...I was just sitting on chair watching since I really didn't feel like being violent enclosed in a basement. Then it sort of slowed down and Peter randomly handed me his candycane and told me to take over or something like that. Then after a bit he had to flee and then the Leones. But the girls and max stayed until 12 just talking and such. About WEIRD RANDOM things. But then we kinda had to leave and Max said we could take home the candy canes so I'm like. Oh, ok I suspose. So I am now holding Peter's candy cane hostage in my closet and I told him if he gave me a pickle I'd give it to him, but I'm thinking maybe I should ask for somethig else, that like, lasts.

(Oooo click here)

Ok, so we went to Britnee's and people fell asleep watching the urban homeworks tapes but we had to wake them up at the end to heard down to Britnee's room to sleep. And, well, we slept. Then all woke up and I dunno. Oh, for breakfasts we ate waffels! (haha peter) And one by one we slowly left. Twas very, very sad.

Saturday was incredibly boring!!!!!!!!!!! My internet wasn't working so I couldn't get online which sucked a lot. I found out we had cable...so I watched random shows and the panic room. boring movie that isn't scary at all. So bad I didn't even care about seeing the end. Which was odd for me... I just called Manda and we ended up talking til 12:30am from like 7:30...you do the math. We spoke of lots of stuff. Problems and w/e. Twas nice.

I woke up at around 7:56am Sunday morning and made Alex a birthday card, which was a turtle I drew and his random quote. (If you have a turtle, keep it!) Took me til like 8:30 and so then I got ready and arrived at church round 9. Always late. So I sat with Manda and Alex in first service and then we wandered around between services. Well we can't go in the middle school service (YAY! Maybe Dennis thinks because I go to HS I'll just not be able to go to middle school! Oooo Breakaway possiblity..) So Manda and I walked around and ate random foods and then we saw Indigo!! She randomly decided we should walk to Chipotle and get food while service was going on. It was around 11:55 so we had time. As we were crossing the street from the parking lot we saw (and heard) Ben and Max galloping after us because they wanted to join us. We decided it was kinda late so we ended up just going to subway. And we named a piece of wood Alex in honor of his birthday as we passed it walking by. We got back to church a few minutes before service ended (heh Ben and his Atkins friendly cookie!) And Indigo, and I went home with Manda, yay!

Alex's party was very fun. We, of course, surprised him when he walked in the door by us all being there popping these odd things at him that smelt like smoke after you pulled the string attatched to it...Then we went outside and got in to teams and played funny random games. We all got these Sarah P. cds and flung them in to containers for points. The cd is very nice!!! I'm going to ask them if I can have a working one to listen to cause I can only hear the first track before my, "a kitty that meows" name I put on it with marker at the party blocks me from listening to the rest. That's where the first sentence in this blog comes from. Her song. After the weird pasta games and pie eatingness (Good pie!) we hung out for a bit and then ate pizza. or some of us. then manda and britnee and I walked down this path and came to this GORGEOUS pond that was rather big and had sand all around it. It was so incredibly quiet and peaceful that you could totally plop a lawn chair down in the sand and read a book for hours with no distractions. Like your own little retreat. Your own little safe spot to be where no one would find you. Manda went down by the water and started sinking! It was hilarious cause her sandles got all dirty and muddy and stuck deep in the wet sand so she just left them there. Lol, just disposed of them in the water. We walked back and they were having cake. Some ate, some didn't. My thoughts were elsewhere. People slowly left and the night crept up on us while some played football and me and manda sat and the grass talking. One of the kitties layed in my lap as I petted her and then Sarah joined us. Then Britnee. And Alex for a bit. But the bugs soon came out and full darkness (and some bats even) so we went inside. We all sat on their leather couch and watched videos from when Alex and Ben were toddlers. SO CUTE! And funny. And their dad plays the piano VERY well...

And then I had to leave. And my internet was still not working so I couldn't get on aim.

And my computer still isn't working so I can't get on aim. Who knows when I shall next. My father called the internet service provider and found out we have a virus (no surprise there with my sucky computer) and that we had to get rid of it before we could use the net. That may be never. Hopefully we get our new computer soon or I might be without internet or aim for weeks. *sob* STUPID VIRUSES!!!!!! Ack.

So that's why I might not be on for a while. Just know that I love you all and shall deeply miss our conversations until I speak with you next...Alas. My hope...

farewell! my mother is taking me from the internet and dragging me back home with no connection!!!!!!!! THE PAIN!!! THE TRAGEDY!!! NO MANDA TIL WEDNESDAY!!!

p.s. tis very nice when you go to subway by yourself and walk around in a leather jacket cause you feel too skinny even though it's very hot out..

::quoth anna:: at 2:49 PM

Thursday, September 16, 2004

"You know what's the problem with the world? Not even really the world. More like school, which is sort of a world in itself. But the problem with school is that almost everyone cares about being popular. No one wants to be a "geek". That is the problem with kids today, no matter what anyone else says. No one seems to realize that geeks are good. Geeks are the people who have figured out that popularity is fleeting, and stupid, too. They aren'y popular and are really happy about that. What popular kid would sled down a hill with her siblings, or endlessly quote crazy movies and books, or just have fun? They're too worried about their image. Geeks HAVE no image already, so they can have as much fun and be as juvenile as they like!"

-dead bunny

ahhh visiting random blogs is the best. i notice a lot of bloggers like death cab for cutie..i think my brother has a cd of theirs or something. sounds so famliar..

all i must say to you insanelunatic is mrrrr....

::quoth anna:: at 6:33 PM

Trapt song..

Number one:
Insanelunatic person you are driving me insane so I hope you're happy. And I think *you* are spork! Cause Todd isn't. And you just so *randomly* mention it. It's not that casual you know..

...TELL ME WHO YOU ARE!!!?? why would i not want to know? as long as you aren't my ex-stalker from church who now stalks amanda or their sister I think I should be happy to know who you are.

Anyways. So Ben and Amanda came over yesterday and I was rather giggly and happy. Because why? Well, a-I use to have a crush on Ben. Not sure if I still do. I still think he is adorable. and b- well, i haven't seen them in a couple months. They also came here today with their mother. Who met my father. For some odd reason their mom really likes me. Example, when I saw her she's like, "Anna can I have a hug?" So I blushed and was mumbled ok and give her one. So anyways, that was insane.

Note to self: Don't forget about the steak in the broiler.

Mmmk, well in everyday life I always am thinknig of stuff to write here but I always seem to forget it. So I'm concentrating real hard to remember the most of it.

Ah yes...I shall talk about the evil boys that comment at me when I bike past them. Usually on my way to Shanna's house. Well I lvie on the east side of St. Paul. I have all my life. So the whole ghetto thing doesn't really phaze me cause I've grown up with that in my neighborhood. AKA I'm not scared by the people that yell at you. But sadly it happens often to me. Probably because I'm a girl and not half bad looking. (Or so I've been told) So on Monday I was riding my bike across the street and a little way down I see these two punk skater boys on this ledge and then another boy on the sidewalk talknig to them and right away I hear the F'in word (baaaaad people in my neighborhood) about something or another and so I shudder cause I'm thinking, "Blast it's probably those one punk skater boys with no morals!" And RIGHT away one of them calls out to me, "My friend likes you!" NOOOOOOO! I deny such things to you evil boy! Ok number one: This has happened about 10 times before by the same people. A bunch of punk/skater/goths who live like 3 blocks from me. *sigh* it's crazy. so yea, someone has to come save me from the kid who likes me.

I forgot to say, my brother was suppose to pick me up last saturday at 6:45 after service but he didn't because, well, simply because he didn't want to. He was yelling at my mom telling her I could walk home, so, yea, that's why I stayed til 8:30 waiting for someone. No one was actually coming. Shows how much my brother care about me..

HS service yesterday. *hums* It twas ok. I would have liked some things to be different, but alas they were not. There's not a whole lot to say about that except that I really wanna go to breakaway with manda and everyone but I'm not sure, since I'm not in highschool, that the leaders will let me. That would suck- alot.

Oh! YEAH, fun stuff. I like my writing class. Fun people. Even if they are the surbarbun type..

::quoth anna:: at 2:57 PM

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Wine is very good. I prefer red sweet wine over white wine and the dry stuff. I wonder what Champaigne tasts like...

In other news nothing much has been happening lately. Thursday and Friday were boring. Saturday was too except for I did lighting. Which was rather boring I must say.

Oh! Dude. Ok, so I'm in the auditorium waiting for "mom" to pick me up after the Saturday night service at WHC. She said she'd be there around 7. So 7:15 rolls around and I'm thinking, uh no mom. So I call Nate and see if he knows anything. Of course he gives me the ol', "I don't know Anna, if she said she'll come she'll come." So I rolled my eyes and put down the phone. At this point the whole building is almost cleared out except for the random staff. And there's this odd guy in a peach shirt pacing outside the building trying to open the doors which were locked, because the building was closed. OK, when there looks like a hobo trying to get in, even though it is church, you don't let him in. Who knows what he's on!? Even the lasy who always looks busy and frazzled with blond hair that works there told me she would prefer me not to open the door. Creepy. So I sat down by the windows where I had been last Wednesday, thinking about my friends from church. What else does one think of when they are sitting in the auditorium of their church? So while I was thinking I was watching two grasshoppers on the window. I kept peering at the clock too. 7:30, 7:45, 8:00, 8:15, ok where is my mom? So around 8:30 I get up and start pacing. And then I see Dennis coming out of the youth area with some other guy. Long story short he ended up giving me a ride home in his big black truck. He asked odd questions and made odd sentences.

Arrrrg I can't stand this!!! *sob*

not so random outburst..

Sunday I had to do lighting again. Mrrr...It was rather sad because Becky didn't let me leave during the second service during the sermon even though I do absolutely nothing during the sermon except think. I was deprived of hanging out with my friends sitting on the couches up on the balcony talking!!!

mrrrr, anyways. after service she said i was free so i ran to my luvs and found them all hanging out. so people had to leave soon and me and manda thought, hmm boring sunday, let's do something! We thought about going to manda's and making puppy chow and playing zelda and watching urban homeworks tapes. but i guess it somehow worked out fo rher t come to my house. sooooo we went to this chinese buffet and were sad cause it made us think of urban homeworks. then we fled to rainbow and got vannila and chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and gummy bears. then we went back to my house and we just kinda got settled and what not. after a bit we watched half of a tape and then got online and talked to peter a bit. we stopped and watched more tapeness and then got back and talked to peter for quite a while (mostly manda) until my computer kicked us off. (ow, that hurt) then we basically watched the rest of the tapes and went to sleep.

yea, that's my day.

i don't feel like posting anymore, not in a creative "witty" mood anymore.

depression has hit me strongly.

farewel life...

::quoth anna:: at 5:37 PM

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

...."Never was and never will be, have you no shame don't you see me? And somehow now you've got everybody fooled...Without the mask, where will you hide? Can't find yourself, lost in your lie. I KNOW THE TRUTH NOW, I know how you are, and I don't love you anymore, it never was and never will be have you no shame don't you see me? And somehow now you're everybody's fool." -Evanescence

I decided to start singing that song because yesterday night that is exactly how I fellt. Don't worry. If I talked to you and you talked to me then it's not you. But if those two things didn't happen I might just be talking about YOU.

*shuts up withe caps lock now*

I had a very nice dream last night considering the circumstances. Well I was on this playground in winter and a bunch of WHY friends were there too. And in this playground there was a very nice furnished cave (*starts english accent* Uncle Andrew! I remember now, he was beastly and tricked me. Oh, he tricked me too. so is that it then? Do we take the guinea pig and go home? No, leave it here, your uncle would just do something beastly to it.) ..Sorry random outburst. ok, so anyways this furnished cave was also heated and had like a living room set going on. Actually two. And in one of them there was a tv and a gamecube or xbox or something like that. Well in the other living room was manda and britnee and such people and in this living room was the person i like. so then i started playing video games (CTR) with him. It was very fun, and I got 3rd..weird, I played a video game in my sleep..And then after the video game we knida just sat and talked and hung out. *sigh* It was very nice. *smiling*

Yesterday I started YEAH. I had science and writing skills. I'm very sad cause I think if Ben Leone went to YEAH he would be taking science too. And it'd be nice to have someone I know there. I really hate the whole meet new people thing. Oh, no, no...I don't like him like THAT. He's just a crazy friend who tilts his head to the side and smiles. *laughing* And tells me that I leisurely dig. :P Silly mouse. Ok well science seems really hard and I'm confused about some of the homework. And I have to read 30 pages in my huge book by next week! 30 pages wouldn't be a lot if (a. it was a regular book size, but of course it has to be a huge thick heavy book. (b. i was actually interested in the whole science thing. like i can easily read 30 pages in Teen Idol (By Meg Cabot writer of The Princess Diaries and All American Girl, awesome book) cause it's something I'm really interested in. But science is...well it's school. Ok so then when we're about done with science this really obnoxious bell rings and eeryone shuffles out or burst out crying cause they're so confused about the homework and just expecting to fail and they don't want to try to find they're next class they just want ot get out. (Which is almost what I did) But I left the room anyways and searched from my writing class. Well when I got in to the doors I glanced about the seats. Way back row was full (blast it!) Then there was a row of girls but that was all full and then there was a table and two boys sitting done with two empty chairs between them. Well, I frantically searched for somewhere else cause it's bad enough sitting next to some new girl but sitting next to a new BOY? Ahh! *hides from members of the opposite sex* Ok, and it's really sad when you feel like a misfit cause well you are. I was a misfit because (a. I was all punk looking with my black and red shoes red pants and black shirt and tons of black bracelets. (b. I'm not outgoing and can't say hi to anyone easily. (c. I've never been a prep, even when I tried a few years ago, I just can't pull the whole thing off. The aeropostale clothes, the make up thing (I am so make-up illiterate it's not funny. I'm lucky I can put on chap stick) and omygosh how they talk! I've noticed that preppy people have very nice sweet teenager voices. And I've noticed i have this very young sounding voice. It sucks majorly cause I don't think I sound young, I think I sound nice, but when I hear myself on tape...*shivers* Tis why I don't like narrating while I tape. I end up hearing myself and am like ahhh evil immature voice! So yea, I finally after frantically trying to find somewhere else to sit realize I'm either sitting by boy number 1 or boy number two because there was no seat in between the two empty seats. I chose number two since two is my lucky number and sat down. So I'm sitting there listening to the girls behing me go like, "Hi, I'm &#%&&@*, what's your name? Have you been to YEAH before? Yea, this is my second year, I really like it here, life is awesome I've never been depressed cause everyone excepts me and my family loves me and I go shopping like, every day almost for new abercrombie shirts! And this morning I spent 3 hours putting on my make-up. It looks so real." Ok, so maybe they didn't say exactly that but the whole hi nice to meet you, have you been here before kinda thing was definately going on in the seats behind me. So as I'm shunning myself (how you shun yourself I don't know but I do it anyways) thinking how if only I wasn't so, so myself maybe I could be outgoing and say hi to random people. But then I guess I'd sort of be lying to them cause I'm not like that at all. I'm not preppy but sometimes it's very hard going places where you see a lot of girls with make up on and aeropostale clothes on flirting with guys, (no offence to britnee, she's cool and talks about weird random stuff like meese. :P) but it's hard when you know you are so not like that! Ok so as I'm contemplating this wondering where in the world the teachers is around this place this BOY comes up and stands behind the vacant chair next to me and was all like, "Is anyone sitting here?" ...! Ok *breaths deeply* I thought you only heard those words on some cheesy teen movie where there's that random tension between a guy and a girl and they fall in love and blah blah blah. You don't ever ever ever, not in your wildest dream imagine a boy asking YOU that.(by you I mean me) Creepy anti prep, gothic/punk something you. I can't even put on eyeliner for goodness sake and he's asking me this sort of question!? So what am I going to do? Snap back and say, "Yes, someone is sitting there! My imaginary friend named Get Away!" Of course I'm going to say, "Um, no" and then move my red 3 ring binder that's kinda crossing in to the territory on the table that belongs to the person sitting there, and shuffle my chair a centimeter away. (For effect) I don't think you've ever really lived until you hear the words, "Is someone sitting there?" said to you. And I bet it's the most best experience if you get said that to twice. So I guess there's something that happens to yu when you have 5 brothers. You get cursed to end up doing stuff with boys and not being preppy and not able to put on make-up. I'm not really sporty though, I like tennis though, ping pong and pool are nice though if you can consider those sports. O.o Oh, and I've deicded to hate soccer jsut cause like every single preppy girl I know just, you know, *loves* soccer. Although it's not that bad, but whatever. So yes, I suppose I'm cursed to get stuck with boys. Cause at urban homeworks there was only like two other girls in my group besides me and a lot of boys. And then that one time at church where that one guy wanted me to be on the boys team so I went. *ponders that* But anyways the class was good except my jitteryness by sitting next to two boys. Odd. The teachers absolutely hilarious. She makes you think of your brain as dori and nemo's dad from finding nemo. She doesn't like say that but it reminds one very much so of that. Like the right side (emo side) is dori and the left (logical side) is nemo's dad. Quite quite amusing.

Well that's about it I suppose for now. HS service was very fun and happy even besides what happened with that person. It was very fun later that night running down the halls with indigo and naming the computers and laughing at her very funny jokes. (LOL) hehe....

Tis all, go read a book or something now. May I suggest All American Girl Great book..

Ok, weird, I think I finished a 300 page book in 2 hours..It was that good...

::quoth anna:: at 9:36 PM

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Shinedown-Stranger Inside
This day could be the worst one yet
I just won't relax I can't catch my breath
Because I'm sick and tired of you'll be fine
Well how do you know, can you read minds

So take while you can so you can meet demands
My insanity is what you thrive on
So rip it from my soul, so everyone will know in the end
We were never friends

Have you ever felt lost inside so unloved within that you almost die
Have you ever stepped out of the light and realized there's a stranger inside

Don't push your ignorance on me
I'm not unrehearsed to your jealousy
And I know you think I don't see the signs
Well how do you know, do I look blind

So take it while you can so you can meet demands
My breakdown is what you thrive on
So rip it from my soul so everyone will know in the end
I'm the break you're the bend

Yay, fantabulous Leah gave me a purdy cd with purdy songs on it like this one and and the prettiest evanescence song ever! Cept letsingit doesn't have the lyrics. *sigh*

Click here for a picture of some random friends :P (haha go tu back manda for u n todd calling me hott!)

this is the name of the person i like-

guess who :P

(those who know it don't say!!!)

I should speak about Saturday...nice happy thoughts.

My mother dropped me off at Amanda's instead of taking me to woodbury, which is odd cause woodbury is closer then manda's. but oh well, tis ok. i wasn't complaining, tis their car and such. so then after when me and manda got there we saw sarah and britnee and then manda helped me rent rollerblades. max walked behind us as i was giving the lady my shoes and i'm like "sigh, i wrote the name of the person i like on them." and so max started laughing evil cause he thought he would read them, but then i told him i wrote it in a different language and he stopped. so well of course i was rather feeling odd on blades, since it was the first time. and my computer is being slow and lagging as i type. ok so then after a while i got the hang of it and other peeps showed up. (namely peter and nikki) so basically i'll say that it was so funny that you could request songs and that silly teenager boy was the person who played them. sigh, they didn't have broken, that was very depressing and cruel and unusual! but at least they played "going under" "bring me to life" and "my immortal" tis nice. britnee and nikki and sarah were requesting britney spears and odd songs like that and that was odd. i felt bad for the guy cause nikki was yelling at him for not playing the songs she liked. (although it's quite humerous) but seriosuly wouldn't you feel bad if a bunch of awesomely cool teenagers were yelling at you. :P So then he started playing britney spears songs and she was happy. i would have played them to even though the amount requested was large and evil, imagine if people were yelling at u to play songs, wouldn't you play them? ok so anyways it was very fun there and i must say peter is a very humerous blader. hehe the hokey poke and the ballerina...*bursts out laughing* *pat pat* silly peter. then we went to britnee's and pretty much ate and hung out. peter left early, twas very sad, but then like 20 minutes later indigo came. yay happiness. we ordered pizza and we were going to play pretty pretty princess with max, lol, but then we all just sort of talked and such. and then leah gave me her miness cd and i listened to darling evanescence songs. then after a bit we ate pizza (mm olives) NO JUNK PIZZA!? Ahhh! The world crashed and fell, and I had it all written on my hand and everything. (along with the person i like's name) but oh well. and we watched just married. odd movie. then max left and the girls went to britnee's sister's room and kinda did whatever. sarah fell asleep at 11:30 then britnee at like 1. me n manda, indigo, and nikki stayed up telling creepy stories of what's happened in our lives, and then played this game thing where we ask questions of eachother. then i fell asleep at 2:30 and i don't know what went down after that.

church was kinda boring..too tired to think. i think i got food poisioned from somewhere. but, i can still think of pizza and be hungry for it, maybe even dominos, but i can not think of spaghetti and italian sausage meatballs and buiscuts and honey without getting insanely sick to my stomach. dude that's creepy that i hate spaghetti now. ...! ok i ate this stuff at the langes. so i'm guessing that the meatballs or the sauce was rigged. never eating there again.

blast it went to grandma's after church. rather not talk about such evil things.

oh! found the song-

Evanescence-Anywhere

Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me
And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free
I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you
And at sweet night, you are my own
Take my hand

We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name

I have dreamt of a place for you and I
No one knows who we are there
All I want is to give my life only to you
I've dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore
Let's run away, I'll take you there

We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the mornings light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where no one needs a reason

Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you

Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you now

::quoth anna:: at 5:21 PM

Monday, September 06, 2004

Ok, I had the scariest dream last night. I shan't go in to details but stuff I mainly remember is this indian lady was living in my room and there were nails outside me window you could hang pictures on and so my mother and i were helping this lady hang a picture of her grandmother outside of the window on the nails. Well the lady said don't hang it upside down cause it was evil or badluck or something and so we hung it right side up. well then all of a sudden the wind started blowing and it blew the picture to another nail and hung it upside down! *gasp* so that was creepy. then when my mother fixed it again instead of smiling it was kinda frowning this evil hatred wicked frown. and my eyes are watering thinking of it cause it was scary. so i immediantly when i saw that horrid thing kicked it down in to this huge valley. and then my family procceed to get rid off all these demon possed wall things of this indian family. and then my mother told me someone said she only had a few days to live. (cause she has cancer, so you know what cancer does to people...like seriously, she has cancer in real life, not just in my dream) so it was rather sad, but she ended up dying that night. Adn I was really depressed and then I was thinking, well at least now I can go all gothic and no one will say anthing and I can get those pants.

And then I woke up. And I don't know about you but when you just dream your mother is taken over and killed by cancer and you had evil spirits in your house it gets a little depressing, and scary. and this is odd cause i usually don't dream at my grandma's..

and i didn't sleep properly. my stomach was waking me up (i think i got food poisioned or something) and every time i woke up in the midde of the night i felt so, i don't know worthless. i didn't feel like living or dying. i wanted to be gone. i didn't want to do anything anymore. i just didn't want to be. i had odd troubles breathing. i felt like my life was just getting sucked out of me right there. and i didn't care. i felt like i was loosing my breath underwater and it was so evil. like seriously this morning i had to tell the devil to get out of me. i think something is trying to enter me...it's really scary and i don't know what to do. i don't know how to keep living. i just need help, but i don't know where to get it.

I need God. Like really bad...

*sigh* i'm listening to evanescence. it reminds me of skating at the rink and being with wonderful friends. *sigh* *listens to bring me to life*

::quoth anna:: at 10:01 PM

Sunday, September 05, 2004

oh the party was grand, i'll speak of it tomorrow. my mother is whisking me away to my grandmother's house, ahhh. a 2 hour lnog car ride with my nasty stomachache and i might get carsickness. plus we have to make stops, ah stops are evil cause they take forever!

i got the urban homeworks tapes so i think i'll watch those in the car and miss everyone.

it was hard to concentrate in church cause i was so tired from last night. :P

blah must flee, meh.

::quoth anna:: at 2:42 PM

Friday, September 03, 2004

Ok! U must sill read the post before this but i have decided to give u pics to look at silly meese. :P yea i get to do something special for y'all! (hehe)

here is my room (and my cat clemmy)

and here is a rather stupid young looking pic of me. (i was painting)

and my cat purdy clem!

and a wretched pic of meh

::quoth anna:: at 11:42 PM

...Cause today I found my friends in my mind...*sings* my brother use to play that song a lot when I was younger..like it's odd cause I remember listening to him listen to it. Although I don't know who it is..I just know that line...

On a happier note tomorrow is Britnee's party....yay, something to look forward to! yay! especially cuz it's with church lovers. hmm i should of asked manda if todd or andy called her back...

but anyways my mum is dropping me off at manda's at 10 just cause she has other stuff to do and we don't know where this wooddale place is.

the thing that sucks is...i don't know how to blade. i hardly know how to skate for that matter. it's rather sad of me i suppose. i've never really been in to skating anyways and my parents never bought me skates, so I suppose i was deprived of the oppourtunity. *whoa big word*

currently i'm willing my friends to get on aim *will will will* no i don't have a friend named will.

oh, i spoke at my mother about the pants and showed them to her. and like she totally doesn't want me to have them. because they have metal on them and she says it gives this hard cold look that I don't know they do and if i did know I wouldn't want them (although in reality i know what the pants are all about and that's half the reason i want them, but i acted like i didn't know what she was talking about) and then she said the straps would attract attention to my butt. i almost burst out laughing cause that's rideculous...i think...O.o but that's why. and so she protested and then after a bit she's like, "Anna, jsut do what you feel God wants you to do. If you feel he would want you to have those pants *deep sigh* I'll buy them." So now I'm torn between making my mom happy and myself. And ulitmately...

What does God want me to do???

sigh, how should I know? I'm praying about it though

Ah! So happy to see church luvers tomorrow! *sorry i kinda stole your word manda* um er...why likers....heh...O.o

Oh dear, my cat is lying rather dead looknig on the wooden floor, I better go poke her cute lil squishy white fluffy tumma to see if she's alive. TTYL

::quoth anna:: at 10:15 PM

Thursday, September 02, 2004

hehe, well...*fans self* It is very hot in this house *check thermastat* Omygosh it's 82 in here! I'll be lucky if I can fall asleep tonight. It's prolly like 87 on the top level. Oh, phew. Ok back to my point...

Hello Manda, Steph, and Spork!!! such lurvly names you all have...

Ok, so now I feel it's time to speak of my crackheaded stalker to you all. Oh, I'm checking my e-mail and I got an e-mail from Britnee saying that I'm invited to her not yet born horse's baby shower..Ummm, what exactly do you buy for a horse? Ok anyways, here's how it all went down....

A couple nights ago I was settling down on my bed with my journal when my brother starts knocking on my door and apparently just wanted to talk. So he glances out my window cause that's what everyone does when they're in my room since I have the best view. He starts to edge closer to my window (I say edge cause you kinda have to sneak your way through all the stuff on my floor piled on top of eachother, sort of like a maze, hehe, leave me alone it's my personal space. :P ) So then he looks over to me and was like, "Who's that guy waving to you Anna?" I peer out the window and see this guy who looks ghetto but he's white and he's waving up to my window from across the street. Immediately I burst out laughing cause, dude, it's hilarious. See, my windows which are rather full length and large have no blinds. They just have these white see through curtains. And I'm always wondering if I have a weird stalker who looks at me when I'm, I don't know, dancing to evanescence or something. So I dunno, just the whole thing how he was waving and calling up to my window at me and my brother was insanely funny. So what do I do when something's funny? Why I laugh of course, which is exactly what I did. Well my brother's are rather over pretective of me, maybe cause I'm their only sister and the youngest, so I guess he thought I knew this guy and he was like my boyfriend or something. Which made the whole thing even funnier. But then of course he grabs me in a hard and rough manner that I didn't appreciate and yells in my face, "DO YOU KNOW THIS GUY!!??" Well now it isn't funny. So I stop laughing right away and look out the window again. Nate (my brother who screamed in my face) sits on my bed and calls out my window to him and says something like, "What are you doing around here so-and-so-what's-your-face?" (I don't remember the dude's name) So then the guy calls out to him and they chat for a bit. Then Nate tells me and Isaiah (my other brother) that this guy is a crackhead and he's on something and he doesn't know what he's doing and knows him from down the street. (There's a lot of druggies and alcoholics down the street) Yea, and all of a sudden I'm the bad person for having my curtains opened (and when you close them people still can see in anyways) when he hangs out with those kind of people and actually knows the guy. All I have to say to that....Pish. So he goes downstairs and tells my other brother (Ok sorry if you're getting lost here with all of them) about the guy and what not. I proceed to turn off my light cause by now it's a little creepy having someone looking at you and you're looknig right back. And then after I turn off my light and look out I see he's settling down on the sidewalk and put in his shoelaces. (!!??) Then my stupid brother asks him what time it is for some weird random reason, I mean there's a clock in my room. O.o And this is how we know he's drugged.
1. It's 11pm and the guy said it's 12:30am
2. Nobody tells someone in their house what time it is without thinking twice. If someone in their house randomly called out to me what time it is I would hop up and run out of there fast!
Ok so the guy finishes putting in his shoelaces and starts walking away. Then he turns back and starts waving to my window and calling out to it again and then we just stare back at him he starts to swear and make slashing motions across his neck to us and walking in the middle of the road. I think he was tipsy. And that was my excitement for the night. It was too much if u ask meh.

well yesterday night didn't go too well. I don't mean youthgroup either. Youthgroup was fine. Nice to hang out with church friends again. I lvoe them all sooo much and wouldn't trade them for the world (even for a new labtop with highspeed internet connection and wireless internet connection) and that's saying a lot cause my dream is like to have a labtop...But yes, I love my church friends. What can I say? And I have different sorts of loves and appreciations for them each. *starts giggling for no apparent reason* Anyways. It was after yg. Actually it was like 12:40am after youthgroup. I had just finished up putting pictures up from urban homeworks on my wall in an orderly fashion (manda u must see my wall!!) when I heard little half knocking half rapping on my door. Well I was playing evanescence rather loudly and sitting on my bed putting excess photographs in an album so I didn't wanna see who it was. I just did it simple and yelled, "What!?" No answer. A minute later I hear the same thing. I thought it was my dad or Isaiah cause whenever they knock on my door they wait for me to open it to say a word to me which is so annoying!!! So a sheet of red goes through me out of annoyance and I open the door. It was Josh. And I won't tell u what sort of state he was in, you can decide that for yourself. Basically he was tellnig me to open my door and I was really scared because of the state he was in and I didn't open my door for him. And so then he looked like he was going to smack me so I did and starts rambling on about Nate told him about the crackhead looking at me and all this random nonsence. Does that help you figure out what he had been doing? It's not like it hasn't happened before, what he had been doing I mean, no big surprise. It's just scary, and it's happened so many times when I was young and just abunch of junk and memories that come with it and blah.

Just blah.

New subject. Sorry if the last one didn't make much sence.

OH! I went to Shanna's today to hang out for a few hours for no real reason. Well my house has no ac whatsoever and this horrid heats gives me a bad headache (I have one now as we speak) so I asked her if she had any medicine for headaches. (we don't have advil or anything in our house, it's odd. So we just have stick those fevers and heaches out. No pain killers for me.) So we went to her bathroom to the cabnet and she pulls out some ibuprophen *laughs* and then she gets a little paper cup and pours a bunch in there for me for furture use. I'm all for that. And Shanna's a little odd and she pulled out a bottle of tum wannabes as I call them (equate brand of tums) and randomly starts popping them in her mouth even though nothing whatsoever is wrong with her. Then she pours some in to my cup. So I'm getting all excited and wanted her to give me a bunch of random pills. So she gives me these children's fever pills too. Lol, I have to take six of them at a time just for them to be effective to me. So it's all so fun. Getting pills. But then when we were in the kitchen she starts looking at me cause she knows I'm depressed and was like, "You aren't going to overdose on those are you?" he thought had acurred to me but I had pushed it away so I sad no. And then I started to joke a little bit and said, "Unless of course I get really depressed on day and flip out and.." Then she grabbed the all from my hand and I cried out with regret over my purdy pills. But after a while of coaxing I got them back. Heh it was funny cause I just *randomly* had a razor in the pocket I was stuffing the pills in. Twas fun stuff.

so hopefully I never get the crazy idea to overdose in my head.

evil hebrew class was tonight. pish. but the week after next there's no hebrew class! free for 2 whole weeks! *jumps up and down*

ok, thank you anyone who stayed and read this all, I appreciate such things...

steph: goodnight
smallshyvoice: night
steph: :-)
steph: May you realize your fullest potential Anna
steph signed off at 11:43:46 PM.

awww thanks steph. :)

::quoth anna:: at 10:27 PM

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

greetings manda! and anyone else who reads this and doesn't comment and put their name... (all i have to say to you ppl is moo!!!)

right now i advise you all strongly to take a look at these pants and adore them with meh. I want them!!! I am not sure how my mother feels about the whole punk thing. She's rather old fashioned and when once she spotted me wearing a black braclet with circular silver studs in it she told me to take it off cause it looked like something a biker would wear. That's how seriously my mother is. So behind the times. I don't suppose she knows what gothic or punk is..pish. or you can take a look at this beauty. I just don't know what she'd think of all the zippers and random things on it. like a while ago when i wanted to be prep (don't even say anything! :P i was trying to find where i belonged) she didn't like teh whole faded jeans thing. She said they looked worn and u don't get your money's worth from them. just think how she would react to these crazy (but so marvelous) pants! maybe if i go for something not so overdoing it at first like this or THIS!!! she wouldn't question it. Although the thing is...these pants are like 50 bucks. (buck heh, lol manda the b...) and my mother is used to paying like 15 bucks at the most for my pants. Plus I need new shoes and you saw the ones I adored manda! (Oh, they're goregous, black and then sky blue and another pait that are black and red!!!) Ok my mother is making me get off so...oh wait...

I want these!!!

Ok I might have a heart attack. Only 44! Oooo! Ok must flee. I'll speak of hs service and my new stalker tomorrow!

i leave u with this though...

::quoth anna:: at 10:10 PM