Life of Buck

Monday, May 30, 2005

Dream last night? i dreamt i had 400 million and my dad was trying to make me buy crap from best buy

When did you last laugh : sounds like a dashboard line. with manda on the phone about the falling in a hole thing

seen anything weird lately: the head damaged polar bear at the zoo

What do you think of this quiz: iunno.............yea

what is the last film you saw: stepford wives

If you became a millionairre overnight, what would be the first thing you'd buy: a laptop or everything to repair my house and pay our bills

Tell me something about you that I don't know: i have a wall corner in my room i make my guests sign

If you could change one thing about the world regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? people would looooove God

Do you like to dance: yes

George Bush: ok

Imagine your first child is a girl, what would you name her? iunno

Imagive your first child is a boy, what would you name him? iunno

Would you ever consider living abroad: maybe

What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates? i love you

Lasts:

last good cry: almost tonight but iunno when the last time was

last library book checked out: i checked out an incubus cd and edward scissorhands and the forgotten

movie seen at a movie theater: star wars on friday

Last beverage drink: water

Last food consumed: don poblos with the *gay hand pose* waiter

last tv show watched: lost

last time showered: no comment

Last cd played: coin operated boy song by dresdan dolls not sure what albumn

Last dissapointment: ezra

last soda drank: i drank carbonated water?

last site visited: jon's blog

two things you often get complimented for: hair and.....being "so lovely"? iunno, really only my hair

you get embarrassed when: um i make a fool of myself in front of a stranger i guess. oor when i think about how my voice must sound awful. and i won't say the other one cause it's embarassing remember

Yes or No

do you keep a journal: yes online and off

do you like to cook: yes i guess

do you have a secret that you haven't shared with anyone: yes, many

do you set your watch a few minutes ahead : yea

do you believe in love? it's always there

Do You:

Take a shower every day? no

think you know you've been in love? yes

Think you're a health freak? sorta. everyone seems to think everything i like is gross...

Get along with your parents? yes the one i do have

when you see this name you think:

Ryan: seacrest, what kind of california name is that

Drew: carrey, retared show, occasionally funny

Micheal: isaiah's old friend who is prolly in a gang now

Paul: a bear in my dreams walking towards our house.

Eve: garden of eden

Justin: haha that stupid crack head who comes over to hang out with my brothers and uses them to get beer

Jack: the nightmare before christmas, good movie

Random:

sign: who cares? aquarius i guess

natural hair color: brown with weird lighter brownness or something

current hair color: as always

eye color: matches my hair

Birthplace: in my house upstairs

Favorites:

Color: iunno i like red

day: iunno

month: these favorite questions get overrated

food: pickles and olives and pomegrante juice.

drink: see 'bove

fruit: peaches are swell, and mango

Preferences:

cuddle or make out: i really haven't done either with a boy

chocolate milk or hot chocolate: hot chocolate

dark chocolate or white chocolate: white maybe

in the last 24 hours have you:

cried: again almost

gone to the movies: no

said 'i love you' : yes, to my dad and michells last night

written a real letter: no

Had a serious talk: kinda

missed someone: yes

hugged someone: yes

kissed someone: i kiss no one except occasionally a few girls the are friends on the hand and manda sometimes on the cheek

i sliced my finger on my razor by rubbing it on it and it looks like a mini cat scratch hehe.

memorial day is weird and zoo animals are fun.

i played old people games with dominoes like chicken foot and mexican train tonight with the lange's grandma, hehe it was fun, and then we went to that mexican restaurant with the sucky waiter and me adn katie laughed quite hard a few times.

::quoth anna:: at 10:52 PM

Thursday, May 26, 2005

we are hurt, we are alone

Something hit me. Not physically, but something else. I want to get away from people, cause they hurt. Feelings of depression slap down on me like the rain outside under the screaming roar of the thunder.

I think I'll go sit outside and get soaked.

that's where i belong. in the puddles that car tires glide over and leave in a splash.

bones, skellatons, hobbies, candles, lights, foreign, change, sweet, sugar, fake, glare, tired, misery, stiff, dry, uncomforterable, complex, away, breeze.

thoughts that slip through my mind.

::quoth anna:: at 5:33 PM

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

i am writing this with rubber gloves on because there are many diseased persons around here and i'm not even fully recovered from my last sickness so that's all I need is to get worse all over again. i have a lingering cough..

well i've decided i'm turning into a lazy bum. i got to sleep at like 2 or 1 the past few days and get up late the next day. on monday i was up watching white noise (kinda dumb) and then ben, my brothers' friend who stayed over for a few days and ezra were debating contact with other spirits or souls. it was interesting so i stayed up to listen.

last night i stayed up til 2 talking to jon about unimportant stuff like arthur and other random things.

two men have been coming over trying to fix our plumbing stuff.

i organized the lining closet.

the house depressed me because i just want everything to be organized, and i want to get rid of the clutter and paint everything pretty and make it look how i want it to... but there's so much stuff to do.

i guess it doesn't make sense to the reader and you don't know what my problem is but it makes sense in my head..

ezra: here anna take a vitamin
me: no
ezra: you're going to die without them
me: you're going to die anyways too
ezra: no vitamins help me live forever.

my brothers are interesting.

i need to develop some hobby that i can get addicted to that i will actually accomplish something good with. web design is fun but it gives you carpule tunnel and bloodshot eyes.

i'm going to try getting most of all of my hebrew done today before church so i can come home and go to bed right away or something...

i cleaned alot of my room. now to get rid of the crap. that shall be hard cause i'm a pat rack....wait. i mean a pack rat. yea. and i hate throwing stuff away people gave me. but i just wan all the ugly stuff to go away. and i stress myself by trying to see my room or my house from someone else's eyes and try to fix what they wouldn't like. but it's hard. augh.

i think i'll go do something mind numbing like sign up for some account on the internet or design something.

here i'll add something to liven up things.
although i warn you it makes no sense to me.

can't you just tell i'm already mind numbed? this post has no expression seemly whatsoever. the effect of a robot has fallen upon me.

also when ben was over my brothers and justin stayed up til like 4 playing xmen on nate's ps2 every single day.

they just sat in there and played and played. his room smelled like men, it was gross.

------EDIT------

eh nevermind. i got most of my hebrew homework done except plain old studying but it doesn't look like an early night. at the least i'll be in bed by 12. it's hard typeing in rubber gloves!!!

hey christine was there tonight and we had funny mexican worship these latino people did for us. we had a good time. and andrew walked in high heels all night and did a cat walk for us and twirled his hair and said omygosh! in a girl way. and he did the snap.... (no he's not gay)

::quoth anna:: at 2:34 PM

Saturday, May 21, 2005

manda's sleeping on my couch and my hands are wet from this peach so i'm only typing with one. or maybe she's not sleeping. maybe she's resting and thinking why doesn't anna get off that stupid computer!! what if i swallowed this peach pit whole accidentally? would i die? where's isaiah and nate...

ezra: look at that! it looks like we're a freakin blood bank!

(all the spaghetti sauce in jars in our fridge, left over from our weird fundraiser)

which thankfully went ok. there wasn't a disgracful amount of peple so i had to hide in utter embarrasment.

i think my cat likes amanda, she's sleeping next to her on this weird couch seat chair man thing. foot rest! that's what it is. the peach is stuck in between my teeth.

after the banquet thing i went to indigo's which was lots of fun. manda was there and we talked to this odd guy from hero on her apple. i ate taco pizza and drank an izze (cause they are SO good) and we watched poto. manda fell asleep and then i got ready for bed and fell asleep too. i wonder if i'm a light sleeper.. or something? like in my bed i usually sleep through the night, but i always seem to wake up right before someone's going to call me to get up. and i wake up at friend's houses when they wake up randomly and tell each other to go back to bed or something. yet i rest heavily and sleep well. oh who knows. i had a dream last night i chopped off my hair/

today we walked to DQ (which took a little while) and bought food. (dilly bar, onion rings, brownie battered things and pinappleness. O.o) we then decided to dance on over to the animal shelter. (we stepped in a huge puddle lake though) we saw pretty kittys and dogs. And other small rodents. When you went into the dog area it was almost deafening because they barked non stop. it's a good thing they were caged in, i would have been afraid they would get out and bite my face off!

after such we decided to go back to leah's. we willed it to rain, but it did not. *alas* another missed oppourtunity to dance in the rain. but we stopped at a fun playground and rode in the car and i hung upside down on some bars. Me and leah also braved the puzzle slide that hurt your diaphragm. and then i got into the baby swing and she pretended to push me while manda took a picture. (she wouldn't let me take a picture of her in the fun little car that rocked back and forth though, grumble grumble)

back at leah's we drank kool aid and saw her bunny. After all, we collapsed on her bed and looked at photos and sorta half napped. But then my brother decided to come so me and manda left without my love. now we are here and nothing much is going down. i'm washing my blankets and she's napping on my cough and no one else is here.

i'm trying to download her a thumbelina song and adobe photoshop, but both are going quite slow. Now I'm going to go amuse myself with the many things on the internet.

::quoth anna:: at 5:46 PM

Thursday, May 19, 2005

a ten dollar bill lays limply on the smooth surfaced wooden desk that my foot and boot rest under.

it is creased, papery and worn. i don't want it, yet it's mine.

i'm mad, unstable, i'm not fully recovered from my cold, hurt, stressed, and weak.

today started out so nice. but now he's here. making me watch his child for 10 bucks and no one will save me. too busy probably.

and last night was s wonderful. i wore pilar's black tutu and bounced around so happily. and apart from andrew trying to climb in and join me in the skirt, i was not shattered. i felt so free. we sung the prettiest songs for worship and we hate delecious food. i hung around with many people.

and i got to go home with amanda. and fell asleep with her on an air matress to her doing algebra homework...

and i went to hero with her. and her friends are so nice.....

but now i'm home. back to reality where everything has it's proper name. there's no people arguing in a funny way, no people making up silly ways to do things...it's just people crying inside and being scared of brothers who are drinknig in thier house. and wrecking it so it looks like a pot house rather than a home a mother once lived in. and there's people afraid of getting fleas cause drunk people let in star cats to fight their cats. and there's brothers yelling at you because you wanted to get on aim to talk to someone to see if they could help...but in all reality... those you thought you could maybe maybe depend on when it got unbearable, aren't really there.. and so they mock you and tell you this is your idol.

i want to shatter a piece of glass on the wall and fall asleep in a down comforter again..

this is my reality. oh i hear him coming.

::quoth anna:: at 11:23 PM

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

I've decided that I don't listen to dashboard much anymore because I'm not in love. I'm over everyone I use to like so I'm not going to sit here and sing about how I miss them. Dashboard just doesn't fit. Currently I'm thinking about the field of innocense song by evanescence because it seems like i use to not think of so many things in dirty ways, oy. silly satya and britnee...

i was reading some old blog posts, and it's interesting to see how i've grown. i thought i was mature then..but now i look back and find myself so foolish.

nothing much happened yesterday. still sick. thank you indigo for the lovely idea of bringing me a basket. :) you must come!!! i love seeing you at youth group..

we had a weird family meeting where we discussed our "issues". sim kept making fun of me by saying random in a mocking way. and your face. and when i threw some water at him he got all ticked off and serious and said that's disrespectful. oyvi. and isaiah was really mad at me for not letting him go on the internet to listen to a song cause i was waiting for a call last night. it was frusterating.

ha no homework to do today. it's so nice. no cramming. i think i may change this blog layout.

::quoth anna:: at 2:19 PM

Sunday, May 15, 2005

sick. this is the THIRD time this school year. i usually get one each year at the beginning of the school year. but i had one two months ago and now besides the regular one.

and it ruined some of my party experience last night and i felt really bad every time i coughed. plus i couldn't eat way more junk food cause otherwise i would have been even worse than now. although i don't know how that could be possible. i've been drinking so much friggen echanacia tea and i even ate cough syrup at merrill's house today and i had cough drops but all that's happened is my nose is kinda clearing. my cough seems worse or something. i felt like i was DYING on friday night. seriously. i was thinking to myself, goodbye life. so this is how it feels to slip away. breathing wasn't a reality. oh yea friday was crap. i did nothing cept with steph in the morning. and then i died the rest of the day. ezra took me to the library and i rented the forgotten and edward scissorhands and an incubus cd. then i tried recovering but i felt so incredibly bad that night as i said.

the small group party was alot of fun despite my sickness though. pearl's bed is nice...and we had an in depth conversation about PANCAKES. good food, and we watched lost. and my loves were there.

i went to merrill's house today. we watched the village which i think personally is quite dumb. except for the concept of living in a un technologized village and no one knows that there's cars and computers out there. we played the sims 2 and i made a hot girl name ivy heh..and i told merrill we should make a humanzee. (look it up on google) humerous. her mom gave me cough syrup though cause i wouldn't shut up and i drank so much tea. O.o

Small group was nice. Augh I'm going to miss leah.

Thursday me and Britnee went to alot like love. Haha they did laundry...and that was an interesting movie. we hung out at her house and my sore throat got worse after eating dill pickle chips and a starkiss, oh well. we watched the little mermaid and haha the old man does get one jon!!! it's wrong...

btw he came to church finally like he said. that was nice. ha i spotted him down the hall cause he's taller than sean, when i was wrapped in manda's warm comfy arms.

anyways, merrill has a water bed that's so comfy and her dad plays guitar sooo well. *sigh* i'm jealous. he could listen to a song and know how to play the chords after hearing it like twice. grr. and he has all these cool distortions he knows how to use.

and that's me. i've been hacking my lungs out and it's so horrible sleeping when i'm sick and i'm not motivated to do anything.

now my brother wants me to get off.

life gets annoying...

::quoth anna:: at 10:05 PM

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Look my tounge and his are sisters!

i had a nice ok day.

last day of YEAH. YAAAY!!
heh i lost on my tests...

youthgroup was quite fun. i got pizza, and alex showed me stuff on his computer and spoke at me about random things. i gave britnee a mt dew, and she expressed her sadness about the headphone deal-io to me. manda was there and i love seeing her. she is after all, my wife. and a very cute adorable one at that. hehe manda i love you..

nice worship although my thorat hurt really bad so i think it got mad at me for singing. even though i didn't sing all that loud and not all of the songs.
afterwards i saw autumn's boyfriend, and spoke with britnee about a movie tomorrow and the small group party.

dennis is leaving. kris likes my hair. leah is leaving.

today i felt..well i actually felt pretty. after i took my nice shower and brushed my hair and teeth, and i wore such comfortable clothing. slowly i am trying to get back into that God loves me tons just the way I am so that is how I'll love myself.

I still have the remains of, "Jesus loves this arm even though I don't. And Manda and Jon. Pretty arm." on my skin.

No hebrew tomorrow. I am so sleeping in. I'm going to maybe watch home movies now or some movie because of our new vcr and drink tea with honey like christine told me to. :D

::quoth anna:: at 11:26 PM

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

FILL THIS OUT!

WOULD YOU...(mark an X for yes)
[] go out with me?
[] give me your number?
[] kiss me?
[] let me kiss you?
[] watch a movie with me?
[] let me take you out to dinner?
[] let me drive you somewhere
[] cut some rug with me?
[] be my bf/gf?
[] have a fling with me?
[] let me buy you a drink?
[] take me home for the night?
[] Would you let me sleep in your bed?
[] Sing car karaoke w/ me?
[] sit in the doctors office with me because I didn't want to go alone?
[] re-post this for me to answer your questions?
[] give me a piggyback ride?
[] Come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere
[] Lock me in your room and take advantage of me?
[] lick my cheek?
[] listen to billy idol with me?
[] dance with me?
[] let me make you breakfast?
[] help me with homework?
[] tickle me to death?
[] let me tickle you?
[] stick up for me if i was being put down?
[] carress my body?
[] play strip poker with me?
[] say yes if i asked you out?
[] let me wear your pants?
[] borrow a pair of my underwear if yours for some reason got ruined?
[] let me borrow your underwear if for some reason mine got ruined?
[] get wasted with me?
[] instant message me?
[] greet me in public?
[] hang out with me?
[] bring me around your friends?
[] go get a piercing/tattoo with me?
[] go to a concert with me even if you didnt really like the band?
[] be mine
[] do wutever i asked u to

D0 Y0U...
[] think im cute?
[] think im hot?
[] want to kiss me?
[] want to cuddle wit me?
[] want to hook up with me?

ARE WE...
[] aquintences?
[] friends?
[] in a relationship?
[] gonna have kids?

AM i...
[] smart?
[] cute?
[] funny?
[] cool?
[] loveable?
[] adorable?
[] compassionate?
[] annoying?
[] great to be with?
[] attractive?
[] mean?
[] odd?
[] good enough to be a calvin klein model?
[] the most amazing thing youve ever seen
[] ugly

lets see those x"S

HAVE Y0U EVER...
[] thought about me?
[] thought there might be an "us"?
[] thought about hookin up with me?
[] found yourself wanting a kiss from me?
[] wished i were there?
[] grabbed me?
[] had a crush on me?
[] idolized me?
[] wanted my number?
[] had a dream about me?
[] been distracted by me?

ARE Y0U...
[] done with this survey?
[] happy you know me?
[] mad at me?
[] thinkin bout me?
[] going to repost this so that i will return the favor?

Wellllll apparently you copy this and paste it in my comments nd fill in the X-es. So I would be quite pleased if you amused yourselves and did this and theen if you posted one in your blog i'd definately do such for you.

nothing much going down. my throat tickles me like there's a plufft in it. (manda get out of my throat!) i added more pictures to my site...and umm i think leah and manda should be my guardians..

::quoth anna:: at 3:48 PM

Monday, May 09, 2005

well yesterday night was awful.

after small group i was thinking about my priorites and all that because of the discussion and i thought, hmm i'll do homework tonigth or something fruitful instead of the computer.

haha no.

ezra dropped me off around 8:50 in the rain and dark. I carefully made my way through the crumbled cement of our steps and side walk way to the front door. The house was fully locked up because no one else was home because all of a sudden we've been doing this since mom. <-odd sentence. I opened the first door and then stuck my key into the metal lock. It turned and turned, and i shoved myself againts the door. Nothing. I tried for a few minutes but nothing seemed to be doing anything. So i walked to the back deck and sat there waiting for Ezra to come back. I thought he just had to get gas and he would only be a few minutes. See this all wouldn't have been too bad if it wasn't raining and soaking me and my backpack and *something else.* And I'm not even going to explain because wow that was horrible. So time went by and my poor cat sat by the sliding door and I tried a few times to open that by kicking the wood out, but it didn't work. So she stared at me and meowed alot. She sniffed the door crack a few times like it would open it, and sat on the board, but she couldn't do anything. I looked at the clock inside my house cause you can see into the kitchen and stuff. 9:24 I wondered why he was taking so long. well I went and tried the door again but I couldn't do it. I was going to try more but there was some black guys walking up the block so i freaked out and plus abunch of cars go by the front side of my house. And let's just say they're quite strange people around here, especially at night. So I'm not going to say what I had to do a couple of times because they are quite ... i'm not sure how to explain it. Soon it was 10:00 and i was freaking out because i was sitting along in the dark and crying and thinking about if my mom was here she'd be there to let me in. She'd be there. And then I cried more when I thought about if she was here and not in the house but gone with everyone else, when she came back she'd hug me tight and say how scared i must have been and give me her wonderful mother like pity that one gives to her frightened children to comfort them. So then I dried up my tears and I knew I couldn't sit out here and wait for some insane person to see me and rape me or something. And I did something I never wanted to do. I went to the neighbor's who I don't even know and walked into their yard uninvited and knocked on their door. The man with a bunch of raggedy curly hair and a mustache and big thick glass opened it and i started choking up and could hardly tell him i was locked out of my house and i needed to use their phone. He said, "Oh..do you need to use the phone..come in." And I stepped inside a house full of cigarette smoke and 80's furniture and walls and floors. It almost made me sick. But I guess the lady was nice. She was watching hildago in her living room and she turned it off when she saw me and gave me the phone. She escorted me back into her shabby kitchen and we watched black and white tv and she gave me a sundae cone. She had a very creeply laugh and she kept looking at me. The only 4 numbers I know by heart are nate's the lange's and manda's two lines. and mine, much good that will do though. anyways finally after a half hour they came. except when i got back from their house nate went to unlock it and he came back and told me the door wasn't locked. i freaked out. I had pushed it and tried opening and it didn't. and now he tells me it was unlocked. and my dad tried the key and apparently that worked too. so then i could tell they were all making fun of me in their heads. really it seems like none of them even cared that i couldn't get in and waitied in the dark. nate was pretty much saying what a loser i was for not being able to open the door just with his tone. ezra was his usually don't talk to me joke about stupid things way. isaiah just blared music from his headphones as ALWAYS and went on the internet and didn't say a word to me. my dad tried comforting me but i ended up screaming at him and nate and cried because i was just so mad. the stupid changes. if they hadn't locked the doors i would have been fine. if mom was there she would have let me in. and now i'm living with a bunch of boys who don't know how to properly act with me and they end up saying incredibly mean things. and the only time i get to escape to people who actually seem to like me is wednesday night and sunday morning and night, and a couple or one day on the weekend. i can't just get away any time i want. arg. it sucks.

saturday was fun and friday night. i saw the interperter with like everyone from our group almost, went to sean's house afterwards and he has i'm serious the most amazing house ever. indigo spent the night along with manda and nikki at britnee's that night.
todd and max came over saturday and satya, indigo and nikki leaving. we had chicken took a walk which people in their car called us b****es and sluts because manda threw flowers accidentally at their "f***ing" car. and when we told them this they said they didn't fing care even though they had just asked...

todd ended up having to spend the night cause of home issues.

and today when i was walking to my car for art class this guy who was in a car that was driving by stuck his head out the window and whistled at me. i don't know why. i'm wearing like..paint crappy clothes.

::quoth anna:: at 4:15 PM

Friday, May 06, 2005

Ooook.

Well this is strange.

And no, I'm not just trying to quote dashboard.

My dad just informed me like 5 minutes ago that I'm getting money. For really, no apparent reason. I feel like I'm on welfare...

Ok ok, so you're thinking to yourself, hmm is Anna getting some sort of easy job? And I'm telling you right now, that no, I am definately not getting a job. Then what you ask? Well, here's how I guess it's going down..

Since my lovely mother is now singing with Jesus, *sigh* I get money. From the social security people man. According to my dad 442 a month.....Weird.

And this is odd, I feel like I'm benefiting from her death...which I guess is what I'm doing. Apparently it's for people under 18 so they can buy stuff and crap. And it seems too...unreal. But if some weird reason I started getting that money a month, I think I'd buy a laptop with wireless, a bike (cause mine is like a heap of rust, and I have to get to tennis in a non attention drawer way. ((the squeaky brakes)) ) and then I think I'd save the rest for israel! (a trip to it i mean)

but yea. not sure if this is all real.

today there was this cop that got shot and killed like a mile or 2 away from me, which is odd. so then they had the helicopters out and they were searching for the two guys til like noon. (it happened at 2:30am in the monring) and they caught one of the guys two blocks away from my house. O.o

so i was watching it all on the news for hours while reading the new book michelle bought me and was all, i know where that is, we pass that all the time! (erik's bar)

yuuup, and i ate a crepe this morning with steph. which was always enjoyable.

last night i went to sim's cause I was to do something with Michelle. So me and Michelle went to arby's and then to borders and we listened to random music. LEAH I HEARD THE COIN OPERATED BOY SONG!! It's nice.. She bought me a book that I haven't read, joy! I loooooove reading. I haven't in a long time thoguh because I've been busy and stuff. I use to be a hugr boookworm, my nose always in a book. But I guess it's hard for me to find a good book these days, plus I hardly get time.

She was going to buy me an incubus cd but best buy was closed. ah well. She is fun to be with, for she is like a sister. Well she is, but in a in-law sort of way.

My father and I went food shopping yesterday. Hmm we spent lots of money... But we bought wise things like pomegrant juice, pineapple, pickles, and meat! I love co-op meat. So fresh and wonderful.

I'm use to healthy food now and everything under that seems so second rate. And there's always nice intereesting people at the co-ops, like girls with black hair and lots of peircings. Maybe I shall work there someday.

At their house we watched the ring. (Sorry leeeeah) And I was FREAKED OUT afterwards. I mean, it wasn't soooo bad. But there's certian things that scare me. Like I saw the grudge and I thought that was stupid and funny. But the ring...it just had that girl with the long hair abandoned cause of her problems. And the old fashion lady brushing her hair in the mirror..And the tape was taping it dead on but there was no camera.

Maybe it's science that can't be explain that creeps me out. And old fashion crap. I mean the mad spirits isn't all that bad. But the whole the ring movie was scary..(and i mean the movie inside the movie)

I slept horrible because of that last night. I slept light and then woke up often hot and sweaty in the small dark room of mine and i couldn't push the image of the little girl drenched climbing out of that well, getting closer and closer in the static fuzz. I felt like something was going to turn the corner and bite me!

So yea. That's me.

::quoth anna:: at 2:10 PM

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

I was watching the news tonight and the guy was reporting downtown minneapolis live. there was this background man who did a little dance for me behind the reporter man. (the reporter was clearly oblivious) and then he flicked me off!! i just laughed at the dancing rude man who amused me.

last night I went to MOA with LPCC and so i scampered about with ruth and other like people. I used my points thing WHY people gave me for my birthday and me and ruth and her sister went on the new ride-o man. It was fun. Not overly scary. It's just nice to feel the wind in your hair and be whipped about in a whip cream sort of matter.

anyways my dad is interrogating me about a lettter i wrote he found.
umm apparently i was talking about my dislike for my mother's cooking and that's such a horrible thing.

i spent like 3 hours yesterday trying to make an apron. i still have about half of it left. my really bad sewing job is do to my lack of skill and the weird sewing machine. they both keep braking on me and then i have to try to fix them to the best of my ability. i always seem to have trouble doing things and then i go do something else, and when i get stuck in that i come back to the old thing, and i figure something out, and move a bit but get suck, so i go back to the other thing. it's this weird cycle..

lots of homework due tomorrow that i haven't finished at 11 at night. joy.
thankfully no writing class.
praying..must go.

p.s. the house is a mess, ha isn't that just great?

::quoth anna:: at 10:51 PM

Sunday, May 01, 2005

batteries plus. all the nickle batteries you could ever want. now go.

this weekend.

hmm max's party was interesting. we hung out and ben taught me guitar chords and i wrote alex a note. then we all went upstairs and people switched off playing the drums, keyboard, and max's electric with amp and distortionings.

pizza. one, actually 4 words. no 5. green olive, sausage, pineapple pizza.

we ended up watching school of rock, which was ben and alex's choice from max's movie selection. go figure.

while that movie was finishing up manda, max and i got fire wood and brought it out to his shivering cold midnight colored yard. then max and manda went in and alex came out and we broke small sticks for kindiling with the help of flashlights. soon we all were crowded around a smoking fire singing songs with the blue guitar.

and after a while i layed on the hammock by myself cause no one wanted to join me. i mean, i asked manda but she said she'd be cold. and you can't ask satya or britnee to stop cuddling with their loves and i didn't think autumn or nikki would want to leave the fire and group to swing with me. so i did by myself. following that i climbed up onto max's little playground and hung from the monkey bars upside down. it was fun, and i hadn't done such in a long time.

then i guess i had to go back to the fire because my fingers were freezing from the cold metal. and i took sticks and burned the ends of them then wrote stuff on the huge rocks that surrounded the fire. the pit i mean. i wrote my initals and nirvana cause sean was trying to play smelels like teen spirit.

autumn wandered over to the hammock and i was sick of watching max and britnee make out so i combated on over to her and sat in thee dirt next to her.

she told me about her boyfriend and her life and we talked for a while. manda joined us, and then we decided to go in.

we ended up giving eachother random massages.

(we being me, manda, autumn, todd, and sean)

we left at around 1 for britnee's and i didn't get to sleep til 2:30 cause i was last in the line of 2 people to take a shower. stupid stupid dirtyness.

church was ok today. i talked with becky and she kept telling me if i had that purse and this purse i could put a bunny in it. (in particular the bunny she saved from her dog's masticating teeth) and then it took a while to track down my backpack and i guess manda grabbed it.

me and my dad went to the good earth to eat, and i had greek pizza which is so incredibly irresistable. he talked more, new mother talk. but this time threw in the thought of having new sisters.

i told him that iif he married someone with children i would run away. he just laughed. so for the record he nevere said no, so i will then. i'll bounce form friend to friend and live at their houses.

and if they don't accept me i'll hide in the bushes across the street and spy on them with my binoculars.

or i guess i could beg sim to take me in, but that might be even more protective of me.

now i wait for small group. and kathryn will be here to pick me up in like 10 minutes i think so maybe i should try looking at myself in the mirror.

::quoth anna:: at 5:35 PM