Life of Buck

Monday, January 30, 2006

this picture intrigues me...

looking for flights to israel for may..good but scary?

i actually had an independant study today! and i sat next to chriiiistine. lovely. and i got all my algebra done which is good. but i still have homework..*sigh*.

aha yesterday was sooo fun! well the whole weekend. i slept over at manda's friday and we watchd movies and whatnot. saturday i went to choir practice with her and stayed for worship at church. (well because they sang) went back to manda's with natalie and her and then later satya came and we had MUCHO fun at the co-op. oh it was good stuff....

and we slept.

sunday church was good. i love Jesus i love worship. I WANT YOU TO STIR ME!

and then me todd satya and manda went to my house for a sec and todd signed my wall and wouldn't let go of my cat. heh. chipotle, then manda's.

and i had lots of fun there, ooh man. have todd and you have a party. we ate first, and then right when actually got in the homework focused mood my dad had come back from walking and we all went two houses down and looked at this open house for sale. (possible moving possibilites? scary..) it was very quaint, but it only had two bedrooms. and i suppose we could make a third..but it's really small and i don't know where we'd put all our books and stuff...hmm so..yea. but the neighborhood is nice and it has a good amount of gardening land for dad and it would force ezra to move out. (who by the way makes me sick because he definitely hacked in to admin privledges and tampered with stuff and deleted a program i downloaded!!! augh)

anyways. after my dad left and we were done hanging out in the snug house. we walked back to manda's and worked on homework. i did alot which was good but haha todd...

todd: manda i need to use your laptop to do homework
manda: you have nothing else you can work on?
todd: no
manda: *sighs and gets up from being all comfortable*
*20 minutes later*
todd: hey look at my myspace pictures!
manda: i wish i could do homework as well as todd.

and then at one point todd slapped manda with a towl because he was being silly and she had hot cocoa in her hands and she spilled it all over her down comforter , math book , and homework. (which by the way she said she's turning in even though it was half soaked in hot chocolate) But being Manda she just laughed her face off and so we all laughed too. we played would you rather, which todd made up some funny questions.

todd: would you rather marry your cousin or a camel?
me: cousin
todd: but that's insest!
me: but that's beastiality!

so yea, fun...

but now i feel sad because school is long and tedious and isaiah doesn't want to come home for my birthday so the birthday breakfast tradition is ruined and the out to eat thing...

it's my first birthday without mom or isaiah.
without doing the same lil thing i've been doing since i can remember. although i don't like going to toys r us and ocb anymore to celebrate. i can almost remember the feeling of getting that new toy and having cake at night...and that time i was so full and then josh bought me chinese late at night.
and how we got to stay up til midnight playing sonic..

why can't staying up til midnight and playing sonic give me joy anymore?

and dad's going to work tonight even though it's his day off. tonight's not a good night. i want to curl up and hide from the world...

::quoth anna:: at 5:54 PM

this picture intrigues me...

looking for flights to israel for may..good but scary?

i actually had an independant study today! and i sat next to chriiiistine. lovely. and i got all my algebra done which is good. but i still have homework..*sigh*.

aha yesterday was sooo fun! well the whole weekend. i slept over at manda's friday and we watchd movies and whatnot. saturday i went to choir practice with her and stayed for worship at church. (well because they sang) went back to manda's with natalie and her and then later satya came and we had MUCHO fun at the co-op. oh it was good stuff....

and we slept.

sunday church was good. i love Jesus i love worship. I WANT YOU TO STIR ME!

and then me todd satya and manda went to my house for a sec and todd signed my wall and wouldn't let go of my cat. heh. chipotle, then manda's.

and i had lots of fun there, ooh man. have todd and you have a party. we ate first, and then right when actually got in the homework focused mood my dad had come back from walking and we all went two houses down and looked at this open house for sale. (possible moving possibilites? scary..) it was very quaint, but it only had two bedrooms. and i suppose we could make a third..but it's really small and i don't know where we'd put all our books and stuff...hmm so..yea. but the neighborhood is nice and it has a good amount of gardening land for dad and it would force ezra to move out. (who by the way makes me sick because he definitely hacked in to admin privledges and tampered with stuff and deleted a program i downloaded!!! augh)

anyways. after my dad left and we were done hanging out in the snug house. we walked back to manda's and worked on homework. i did alot which was good but haha todd...

todd: manda i need to use your laptop to do homework
manda: you have nothing else you can work on?
todd: no
manda: *sighs and gets up from being all comfortable*
*20 minutes later*
todd: hey look at my myspace pictures!
manda: i wish i could do homework as well as todd.

and then at one point todd slapped manda with a towl because he was being silly and she had hot cocoa in her hands and she spilled it all over her down comforter , math book , and homework. (which by the way she said she's turning in even though it was half soaked in hot chocolate) But being Manda she just laughed her face off and so we all laughed too. we played would you rather, which todd made up some funny questions.

todd: would you rather marry your cousin or a camel?
me: cousin
todd: but that's insest!
me: but that's beastiality!

so yea, fun...

but now i feel sad because school is long and tedious and isaiah doesn't want to come home for my birthday so the birthday breakfast tradition is ruined and the out to eat thing...

it's my first birthday with mom or isaiah.
without doing the same lil thing i've been doing since i can remember. although i don't like going to toys r us and ocb anymore to celebrate. i can almost remember the feeling of getting that new toy and having cake at night...and that time i was so full and then josh bought me chinese late at night.
and how we got to stay up til midnight playing sonic..

why can't staying up til midnight and playing sonic give me joy anymore?

and dad's going to work tonight even though it's his day off. tonight's not a good night. i want to curl up and hide from the world...

::quoth anna:: at 5:54 PM

Friday, January 27, 2006

so i am sick still. i skipped school again. it's sad, the semester just started tuesday and i already skipped one and a half days of school. and it's sooo pretty out.

anyways out of boredom i did something different to my blog, which i've been wanting to do, it just takes forever and a day. and i love this verse..tis inspiring. well i should go. ciao.

::quoth anna:: at 3:03 PM

Thursday, January 26, 2006

so one of my fears happened to me today. i was getting a ride to the bus stop and we had to chase the bus a couple of blocks. i quickly got out of the car when the bus stopped to pick up some people, and right as i got in the door it closed on me. that's right, to start out the cruffy morning, the bus door closed right on me. and it had to shove it away from me before i died because the driver didn't see me right away. so that was weird..talk about a grand entrance.

anyways i woke up awfully sick and i have a cold and headache thing and i felt feverish at shcool this morning. so i just absensed myself from that place after hebrew this morning. i didn't want to skip the math test and history class though. although i didn't feel very good about my answers to the test despite the fact that peter and sean gave me double time help last night with my algebra homework. and christine came to church last night!!!!! JOYOUS!

so i guess i'm tired stressed out and whatnot just like i use to be in school. i hate stress. who invented the word stress anyways? just saying it makes you feel even more stressed out. and also to mention the fact that wendy laihr is having major problems understanding that i really want a ballet class despite how much it might dishuffle the system. ah vell...

slept over at manda's on tuesday which was fun. we looked at some old emails and heh yea. i got some coffee with her wednesday mroning before school at this quaint little coffee place on the way to SPCPA.

and really skipping school is overrated. why would you want to? sure it sounds good in the morning when you are trying to wake up at 6am, but really when you figure out you can only sleep til 9:30 at the latest because your sleep schedule is all funky, you wish you could do something or be with people. because being home when everyone else is at school pretty much sucks.

oh by the way the hogans house last week was a greeeeeat time. they had the most amazing food ever. fruit! carob milk! joy to the world.. and it was lovely to be in such a loveing atmosphere and talking to amanda. we played some pretty amazing board games and i beat them all at boulderdash and blurt. hehe ben and manda are pretty amusing to play that with. ahh but then ben made me loose my winning guess streak by being sneaky. irish dancing was interesting. and i decided a boy looses his innocense when he gets a computer with internet access in his room.

so now coughing and what not i should try to get sleep or do alot of homework for the future. but it's always gonna come back to me...

::quoth anna:: at 2:34 PM

Thursday, January 19, 2006

to michelle-
hahaha nate says vaca all the time. i'm aware of that word. i think he calls the cat that sometimes. good to know about the pardona me thing though...

but anyways.

so i went completely mind numblingly insane staying home by myself and the cat on monday and tuesday. i got pictures of here drinking out of the toilet..yes we were quite bored stiff.

but! on wednesday i had youth group and it was crazy amazing. and me and satya danced in india dressings, and sean h took pictures because we forced him. but it twas ok cause he was with britnee.

me and manda got a ride with sean c in his spiffy new red car. to sojourners. whoooa. yea..we shizzed out.. O.o

and then we had an amusing time in line waiting for coffee drinks and sean got a rather odd looking soda..

but then sim picked me up! and i had fun with him talking and being at his house. aww cute familia!! michaela.. *laughs* p-o-r-n..pillow!

i slept in her bed since she did the parent-bed jacking thing and wokee up at 8 this morning. i hung around and ate for an hour and then sim dropped me off at hero.

i watched an interesting debate between this kid and these girls.. i talked to dan about weird mathness, talked to other random people, saw a girl i knew from tennis, and played that multiplayer solitare game with manda and the bear kid. and the beear kid and seth i think it was, go and used to go to yeah. and they know the teachers of which i spole of! and they know ellie..what a small world.

now after obtaining a new lovely backpack sort of shoulder bag thing i'm off to get ready to go to the HOGANS until saturday...crazy!!

so yea..prayer is grood.

oh! and i picked up from best buy the pictures i ordered from my digital camera and they're soooo AMAZING! i'm definitely ordering more soon..

::quoth anna:: at 4:19 PM

Sunday, January 15, 2006

so i'm not sure what has gotten in to me. this past week or for however long has been very downcast, unhopeful, and dreadful. i'm almost counting down the moments i have to go back to school and endure 4 more months in 8 to 4:30 sucking up time enviroment. and what's more? i got my schedule and guess what. i'm still in acting track 1. do you know what acting track 1 is for? disrespectful people who don't want to learn. so i feel like a complete failure. all the work from the past school year turns in to nothing... oyvi. i am thoroughly calling the school tomorrow and switching to a dance track. i just really want to do ballet and pilates.. lest i be a very sad girl. and this very sad girl refuses to take tap. not because i'm against the particular style of dance. i just..love ballet. not that i'm much grood at it though.

*deep sigh*

in other news i had a somewhat depressing dream last night as well. in the dream i fell asleep or weent to take a nap, and then i had a dream when i was sleeping in my dream, that satya was introducing me to a friend from school. and then after that dream was over (can imagine the incredible amount of foggy blurry-dreamness it must have been?) i woke up. woke up one year and two months later that is! and everyone's lives had passed. and no one really knew me anymore, and i was less mature because i hadn't had time to grow anymore, and all my friends had different and new friends and i wasn't close to ANYONE anymore. and then my mom was still alive..but no one spoke about her..and she was just like shut up in a hospital, a vegetable, no one ever visited... and dad was talking about how after we spend this 25,000 on her medicine that if it fails to work we can't help her anymoree.

so utter depressing.

in other news, ezra and isaiah are going to california for a bit.

and on friday satya, manda, and i went to jon's, and dan came and we did random things like bored and computer games. slept over at manda's, made wontons the next day. ..yea...

i need Jesus.....

i wish J term would just put me out of misery.

::quoth anna:: at 5:46 PM

Friday, January 13, 2006

wow..isaiah just literally rolled out of bed.

i went to a mongolian barebecue yesterday. with steph. it was fun. and i saw kate! and we went targetting. and i hung around with steph the whole day, which is fun.

i've been drinking so much lemon water..it's crazy.

i don't know, i'm just not in a posting mood. more of a drain-my-mind-out-on-nothing mood. so as some people i know say.. "i got nothing"

so there ya go.

from sunday...

padre and clem

moldy pan found in fridge

empty fridge-TODD!

she may kill me but i love her anyways

satya and her mint tea

daddy's little boy sock

::quoth anna:: at 11:04 AM

Monday, January 09, 2006

so my oh so very kind small group came to my house to clean it for us for small group.. it was mucho fun. we played music, cleaned, found mold. except there was many people underfoot and i heard my name called way too many times. but alls well that ends well. and heh, steve glancey and his friend aaron ended up coming over and helping as well. steve cleaned the living room closet and said there was way too many uncloset like things in it. and he found this shirt that i'm being force to wear on wednesday. (hehe) and this amazing hat that i let him keep because i figured, hey, it's just sitting there.

so my house got clean.

i come back today (satya and i had more dance lessons) and it's undergone clutter attacks and stuff thrown whereever. and once again my brothers still don't care if they leave their cruff everywhere for someone else to clean. and natalie even told them how to flush but it wasn't flushed.

hmm..

so saturday i went to pilar's and i love that woman. and her house is lovely, and her parents are so lovely..and her mom is a wonderous cooker. we painted and talked and listened to music.
grood sfutt.

i spent thursday and friday with manda and we had lovely times. love her much..

gotta flee.

-----------

edit:
mwuhaha
steph's button on her amazing jacket!!

::quoth anna:: at 3:05 PM

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

i love sojourners. steve glancey is pretty amazing.

and here is the current song i'm addicted. it's so pretty..in a hard rockish way.

Blindside-You Must Be Bleeding Under Your Eyelids

Her pain is a fog he inhale
Puts down the phone, neck suddenly stale
Just another night with a sad different song
Heard from someone now she sings along
Turn the car-key, back out through the driveway
He sees her face when he close his eyes
She still believe the lies

Pretty pretty eyes with a darker tone
Another hour in front of a mirror now all the scars are shone
And They say lets have another toast lets sing another song
She tries but the wine is bitter and the words wrong
She still believes the lies

When you see yourself you're seeing red
And it makes you blind
You must be bleeding under your eyelids tonight
You wait for something to break the mold
And all I can do is wipe the blood from your eyes
You must be bleeding under your eyelids

One tear in the sink, swallow the next one
Now out of sight but not really gone
I put the key in the door don't want to walk through
Hang on the handle for a second or two
And As the door opens I can feel your sadness from across the room
And now for your beauty I'm lost for words

When you see yourself you're seeing red
And it makes you blind
You must be bleeding under your eyelids tonight
You wait for something to break the mold
And all I can do is wipe the blood from your eyes
You must be bleeding under your eyelids tonight

Wait for something to break the mold.
You must be bleeding under your eyelids

When you see yourself you're seeing red
And it makes you blind
You must be bleeding under your eyelids tonight
You wait for something to break the mold
And all I can do is wipe the blood from your eyes
You must be bleeding under your eyelids tonight

Wait for something to break the mold
Before your eyes grows old and cold
Keeps your ears close to the ground
Don't move until you hear a sound

Dude who works at soujourners: Here's your change, AND you get the Tennessee quarter.
Me: Whoa..

::quoth anna:: at 10:32 PM

Sunday, January 01, 2006

"i tried to hold your hand but all you wanted to hold was your grudge"

the new remix version is probably the best relient k song ever...

i know i know, relient k? but the new remix cd is sorta grood..

i love j term..i'm so happy i have no school tomorrow, being monday. having a good weekend and then going to school on monday is a sad state.

last week was chaotic.

christmas was spent at old mexico and a movie, and everything other than that wasn't really christmas-y feeling. sorta a sad day without mom and whatnot..

we went to sim's monday night and me adn isaiah ended up sleeping over and that was huge amounts of fun. yes i miss them. i stayed up quite late playing the sims 2 though on their x box. and on tuesday i had fun cleaning a little there and getting wendy's and stuff.

when i finally returned to my home i was sorta sullen and it wasn't very nice of me to myself. We had no computer at that time so I was scrambled, searching for something to do. I was in one of those funk, self pity moods. But guess what!? The Lord is Awesome! I went to find my brother a book he had been reading of sims at his house that I thought we might have. On my journey I found so many hopeful books and this book that had a note my mom made that sorta sprung tears of joy into my eyes. I couldn't explain to you why, because it's sort of something I rememeber as a child that came back. I don't know, it was just one of those times I felt like Jesus was there comforting me, speaking to me, ya know? And I realized that if I pursued God, I can't be let down. Sure satan can block me and make me think God doesn't care and I'm not a wonderful creation, but if I'm actially seeking God He's gonna be right there holding His arms out to me.

randomness...

wednesday..ok
at church i got a little down, but I went home with Satya and that cheered me up. And pilates makes me happy. The next morning we went to a hannukah party and I had mucho fun.

I slept over again because I had this, my family doesn't even care if I'm home and they don't want me, moments. But we had fun once again.

On Friday I ended up going to Britnee's, and..I don't know. I had fun. But I wonder if she did. Saturday eve we went to Sean's and did new years at his house.

Today church was interesting, meh. I've decided phase 10 is probably my new favorite card game. And solitare is grood sfutt.

Went to uncle steve's, and me and uncle john beat my dad and steve 4 times in a row at pool. ate lots..got tired and went into one of teh spare bedroom and watched some cable and we left.

small group party. good.

i leave you in the rest of relient k lyrics.

which to bury, us or the hatchet-rk

I think you know what I'm getting at
I find it so upsetting that
The memories that you select
You keep the bad but the good you just forget

And even though I'm angry I can still say
I know my heart will break the day
When you peel out and drive away
I can't believe this happened
And all this time I never thought
That all we had would be all for not

No, I don't hate you
Don't want to fight you
Know I'll always love you
But right now I just don't like you
Know I don't hate you
Don't want to fight you
Know I'll always love you
But right now I just don't like you
Cause you took this too far, too far

Make your decision and don't you dare think twice
Go with your instincts along with some bad advice
This didn't turn out the way I thought it would at all
You blame me but some of this is still your fault

I tried to move you
But you just wouldn't budge
I tried to hold your hand
But you'd rather hold your grudge
I think you know what I'm getting at
You said goodbye and I just don't want you regretting that

chorus

And wisdom always chooses
These black eyes and these bruises
Over the heartache that they say
Never completely goes away
(I just can't believe this happened
And one day we'll see this come around)
And wisdom always chooses
The black eyes and these bruises
Over the heartache that they say
Never completely goes away

chorus

What happened to us
I heard that its me we should blame
What happened to us
Why didn't you stop me from turning out this way
And know that I don't hate you
And know that I don't want to fight you
And know that I'll always love you
But right now I just don't...

me and nate at old mexico

dad and isaiah at old mexico

the fountain in our dining area there

they had balcony schemes in there as well

a lattern there

me talking to steph while people open christmas presents and nate fools with my camera

clem hiding mehind manda monday morn (she slept over sunday night)

tuesdays menora (happy last day of hannukah everyone!)

a scene from sean's party on new year's eve

::quoth anna:: at 11:19 PM