Follow, into the open air
Far from squalor and noise
Follow, someone is waiting there
Someone who shares all your hopes
And your joysYou know what I hate about death? It takes the most unsuspecting, the one that had some future left in them, the one that can be sitting right next to you, while you're just fine. And then I hate the feeling you get when you've realized this. And then you wonder, if not them, why not me? Perhaps I could suddenly have an encounter with it, and what's keeping me stable? It feels like I'll continue on forever here, but I know it's not possible. So when will the terror come?
Then you feel so confused and jumbled and tumbled and you might as well just take a journey down to urinetown while your at it.
It's also interesting to see how people deal with death. Some are speechless, some cry, some babble about all the negative things involved, and others just feel bewildered.
Speaking of urinetown, it's..good? I mean, I'm starting to get over my initial shock of the scipt, I have all the songs stuck in my head and I can sing along to most of them now while I'm backstage, my job is fairly easy, and I like the people...the people though is where I get all confused and bewildered with myself. I don't know, it's tough to explain everything, and even i tried I wouldn't want anyone to understand right now. Perhaps ever. I don't understand how I can do these sorts of things to myself and feel aahuihsfhoaifjsijf again.
and i'm sick of this rapist crap going on and i decided just to screw being worried because i don't want some man who i don't need to fear have control over my daily routines. So I walked home from the bus stop today and thought, and it was a beautiful day for it too.
i'm skeptical, as one would be in my situation.
i expected only the expected, yes, but where am i now?
trapped inside this overwhelming vault of thoughts and emotions.
and i hate this. i hate this feeling.
and i want it to slither out, to scamper away.
i came in to this situation wide eyed
i was prepared and positive
completely normal and predicted
but now the unexpected has happen,
and in a way it was part of the prediction
i tried to stop it, i did, and i'll coninue to try
i know i have much to examine
and i'm hoping this blow will end quickly
i'll return to normal
and all will be usual.
or it could mark an epoch.
i hate surprise attacks.
i have some thinking and praying to do.
i think it's sad when people don't have time or forget to open the curtains in the morning, because then later when they get home, it's almost night and the sunset is just beggin to be let in. Then you can only enjoy it for a split second until it fades, and you ask yourself, why didn't i take more time to enjoy today's sunshine? And then when you're dying you realized that the small tedious tasks often reaped joy and happiness.
it takes me an hour to get home on the bus now because i have to transfer on to another one. AS long as I don't get in to any more freeway bus accidents I'm fine. There are a lot of weird people though who come on the new bus I take. Drunks and old men who start singing in a regular tone to themselves when they're sitting next to you.
this is me. i guess..?
